The Struggle Gets No Notice But The Glory Attracts The Haters

Nobody suddenly becomes successful. We don’t wake up in the morning and all of a sudden realise we have been appointed the new CEO of a highly reputable company, or have a ground breaking idea in our mind and then poof it has been realised and now we’re famous for it. If I am completely wrong and this does actually happen then please let me know, I’ll be absolutely gobsmacked. On a serious note, success comes with determination, perseverance and commitment.


Have you ever noticed that people generally don’t seem to notice you through all your struggles, trials and tribulations? Have you ever had an idea, for instance a business or a career related idea and told people about it only for 99.9% of those you tell frown upon it and discourage you from pursuing it? They tell you it won’t work, it’s impossible, it doesn’t make sense, you don’t have the funds, it’s not creative enough, someone has already done it, the market is too competitive, what about your mum, but what about your brother, and how can you juggle university and this so called idea, so what about money and what about the means….


Funnily enough when they see your idea in full fruition and see that you’re running with it and you may be, just may be more than just an ordinary person, they suddenly start supporting you and praising you. The same person who was demotivating you is now your biggest supporter.


Through experience, I have truly learnt what the meaning of believing in yourself first means, because let’s face it, who is going to believe in you if you don’t even believe in yourself? You have to be your own driving force when it comes to pushing yourself in order to really and truly make something of yourself. You’re the steering wheel of your life –  the ‘act’ in ‘action’ and the determining power that lifts you up and carries you to the finishing line – not others.


People love to jump on band wagons, it’s like a chain reaction and just like any chain, once a link is created, it is difficult to separate. You may be the only one shouting out from the rooftops about how great you are, how great of a singer you are, how your business idea is destined for gold; but once a wave of people who you don’t even know become passionate about your talent, people around you and many others will start to develop the same passion.


Sometimes the best thing to do is to hush – in other words be mute, silent and just completely quiet about your goals and ambitions. Just like the infamous quote – ‘actions speak louder than words’, and let’s be sincere, nobody likes a chatterbox with no meaning behind their speaking. There can be instances where you may share one of your plans with someone and find out at another stage that your plan is no longer just your plan but also theirs as they’ve stolen it or maybe just borrowed it. An example could be concocting this amazing transport related app and telling a friend, then browsing Twitter a few months later and finding out that, that same app is now your friend’s. Who would have known that your best friend could have stolen something so dear to you?


I believe in energy; the energy of walking into a room when everyone has been talking about you and feeling some sort of awkward energy, or your partner is upset with you and as a result has exuded this tension related energy. This exists. There’s also another type of energy where it’s almost like people can sense that you’re going to be somebody, or make something of yourself – they can sense that you have all the qualities to do well for yourself. That’s great – some will like you more for it whilst others will hate you more for it. You may sooner or later realise that there are people in your life who are just hanging around like leeches ready to drop off once you have uttered these words, “I’ve failed, my plan failed, my goals failed, I’m a failure”. On the other hand, there will be people in your life who are with you no matter what, they are the ride or die kind of individuals. The hold tight my sister, keep your chin up and always look up sort of guys. The fist pumping, positive energy exuding go-getters who also want you to ‘go get some’, as in some of this success as there’s enough to go around. You wouldn’t know it though as some go on like success comes in drips and drabs. It doesn’t by the way.


I’ve heard this a lot – women compete with each other a lot more than men do. You know what, call me crazy, but I actually believe this. We’re constantly comparing ourselves to other women; who is prettier, slimmer, curvier, who has more money, who is more successful, who has the highest ranking job title. Some of us even go as far as to fight over men and step on each other just to have a particular man as a boyfriend/husband. I’ve seen this happen on several occasions. We can be so envious and jealous of each other. We’ll be the girlfriend who sings you praises to your face, but cusses you out behind your back, and at the same time quietly observe you by the side lines until something goes wrong. Now that’s a skill, but not a good one I must state.


On occasion, you don’t have to do anything for people to dislike you, you don’t have to bat an eyelid, you don’t even have to say a word. You can be the most hard working, nicest, friendliest and most helpful human being there is, you’ll still find people who will do everything in their power to put a halt to your dreams. This could be anywhere: in the workplace, at school, at university, at the gym, absolutely anywhere. Just know that in most cases it’s because they fear you, not fear you as in, they are literally scared of you, but fear you because they see something in you that frightens them. They see you as someone who is doing well and they are afraid that you might overtake them and surpass them.


Think of a time when you was going through some hard times, some difficult situations and think of the process you went through to come out victorious. When you were there minding your business going through this difficult time, nobody was hating on you. Nobody needed to. Now think of a time when you came out on top, when you went through such struggle and received the reward of accomplishment and were going through the transition from a blank canvas to a triumphant one. Did you hear the siren of haters talking about how lucky you are and how you don’t deserve your blessing and how you don’t have to work like how they do? Yes, that’s what I was thinking, the cheek.


Well to sum this all up, if you’re experiencing haters then it means you’re doing something right. Nobody hates on losers as harsh as it may sound. If there’s anything else I can add, it will be to not waste your precious tears, eyeliner, or lipgloss ladies or perfectly pressed suits gents on the envious.


Keep winning.


HettyAsh xx