The Hardcore Truths About Marriage

Hey ladies and gentlemen,

I was fortunate enough to have one of those text messages forwarded to me by a very good friend of mine. When I got the text through I thought to myself this is one of those message that randomly get circulated around Whatsapp, and at first I was a little apprehensive to read it, then I thought, what could it hurt for me to read just one more of these predictable messages.

Boy was I wrong, this message for me was one of the most important messages I believe I could have read, and just at a time when I really needed reminding of this crucial message. The message was entitled Hardcore truths About Marriage by Bishop David Oyedepo. Sometimes we think we know what produces a great marriage, but do we really. Did you ever think that, teamwork, the display of affection you allow your children to see, and spending time to nourish your respective other all have a great impact for a marriage to strive, work out and last? Well I won’t talk too much just read this message below by Bishop David Oyedepo and tell me you’re not inspired and glad to read this word of wisdom.

HARDCORE TRUTH ABOUT MARRIAGE!!! BY BISHOP DAVID OYEDEPO

1. There is nothing that threatens the security of a man than the thought of another man competing for the attention and affection of his wife. Nothing is more painful. Nothing is more disrespecting. Nothing is more insulting. Nothing is more belittling and degrading.

2. Marriage flourishes when the couple work together as a team; when both husband and wife decide that winning together is more important than keeping score.

Good marriages don’t just happen. They are a product of hard work.

3. Your children are watching you and forming lasting opinions on love, commitment, and marriage based on what they see in you. Give them hope. Make them look forward to marriage.

4. Husbands: The reason why other women look attractive is because someone is taking good care of them. Grass is always green where it is watered. Instead of drooling over the green grass on the other side of the fence, work on yours and water it regularly. Any man can admire a beautiful woman, but it takes a true gentleman to make a woman admirable and beautiful.

5. When a husband puts his wife first above everyone and everything except God, it gives his wife the sense of security and honor that every wife hungers for.

6. A successful marriage doesn’t require a big house, a perfect spouse, a million dollars or an expensive car. You can have all the above and still have a miserable marriage. A successful marriage requires honesty, undying commitment and selfless love and Jesus at the centre of it all.

7. Pray for your spouse every day; in the morning, in the afternoon and at evening. Don’t wait until there is a problem. Don’t wait until there is an affair. Don’t wait until something bad happens. Don’t wait until your spouse is tempted. Shield your spouse with prayer and cover your marriage with the fence of prayer.

8. The people you surround yourself with have a lot of influence on your marriage. Friends can build or break your marriage; choose them wisely.

9. One spouse cannot build a marriage alone when the other spouse is committed to destroying it. Marriage works when both husband and wife work together as a team to build their marriage.

10. Don’t take your spouse for granted. Don’t take advantage of your spouse’s meekness and goodness. Don’t mistake your spouse’s loyalty for desperation. Don’t misuse or abuse your spouse’s trust. You may end up regretting after losing someone that meant so much to you.

11. Beware of marital advice from single people. Regardless of how sincere their advice may be, most of it is theoretical and not derived from real life experiences. If you really need Godly advice, seek it from God-fearing, impartial and prayerful mature couples whose resolve has been tested by time and shaped by trials.

12. Dear wife, Don’t underestimate the power of the tongue on your marriage. The tongue has the power to crush your marriage or build it up. Don’t let the Devil use your tongue to kill your spouse’s image, self-confidence and aspirations. Let God use your tongue to build up your marriage and bless and praise your spouse.

I know your now thinking wow, that was a powerful message. Isn’t it funny how in one way or another we have probably heard about all these things but we haven’t really taken notice of the advice, or even implemented them in our marriage. Well I really do hope your now feeling enlightened, and blessed by this message. Most importantly remember it for when your experiencing those days when you feel like giving up on your marriage, refer back to this message and use it to encourage and strengthen you.

xo Asiabee

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Elegantly Sophisticated – The Fashion Look

Hi girlies,

I am definitely that person who doesn’t necessarily follow fashion trends and always tries to wear things that are a little bit different and that stand out if possible. I generally try to choose comfort over everything at all times, because who said you can’t be comfortable and look fabulous at the same time?

I’m a massive Asos lover (I’m sure I’ve done a massive favour by showcasing so many of Asos’ clothing on this blog), but hey, a girl has got to stay true to herself, so here I am.

I attended my brother’s graduation ceremony and had to find something to wear. I came across this jumpsuit and couldn’t turn away from it even though it’s freezing cold and I would usually wear this kind of outfit in the evening. Well, as long as I threw on my fur coat over it, I was good to go – oh and warm at the same time.

I found this amazing navy blue satin one shoulder jumpsuit with a roll neck detail and a wide leg. I personally haven’t seen anyone wearing anything like this before so I had to buy it. I was a little hesitant on whether it would suit me or not but as soon as I wore it, I fell in love with it.

Although it is satin, it doesn’t appear to crease much and it is loosely fitted but at the same time doesn’t take away from my figure.

 

The best part is that it is a one shouldered jumpsuit with a roll neck detail. The arm is split and has a tie handle so that you can tie it around your wrist as you wish. I would suggest creating a bow detail as I think it just looks neater and more elegant.

I find that the roll neck detail is so lush! It definitely helps to make the look what it is because if you ask me, I would say that this jumpsuit is definitely for the more elegant and sophisticated woman. You don’t need to wear a plane jane square neck and sleeveless dress to be sophisticated, although I also like those.

The wide leg definitely finishes the look. It is ever so long, even for me as I’m 5 foot 7 and it was dragging across the floor. Most heels would go with this outfit but I would definitely say high heels would be the best option just because of how long the leg is. I would say a slim heel would look best rather than a chunky heel. If you’re daring you can wear baby pink heels or even bright yellow, but if you like to keep things simple, a classic black will do.

I hope I could offer some fashion inspiration in today’s post and if you do end up buying this jumpsuit i’d love to see how it looks on you!

Jumpsuit in Satin with One Shoulder and Roll Neck Detail, Asos – £50.00

HettyAsh xx

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The Conundrum of Lying – How Lying Can Ruin Relationships

“There are times I have witnessed and even in my own life that when you lie you become a slave to that lie. You’re in bondage. You’re entrapped in a fictional story that can’t be undone…”

Hey ladies and gents,

I have got to say that lying has got to be one of the most complicated things that people do. It’s filled with riddles, puzzles, obstacles, secrecy, confusion and so many other negative adjectives and verbs that I could write a book on. I have often been told that guys lie a lot more than girls do, especially when it comes to relationships and dating. Please don’t shoot me but I actually agree, especially when I look at my own experiences.

I’m that girl that prides herself in gaining some sort of thrill from investigating and researching things, maybe it’s because of my occupation working as a researcher. Upon searching through my experience and others, I believe there are three main reasons why people lie:

  1. The first reason why people lie is definitely out of fear; fear of having to face the consequences in telling the truth.

  2. To ‘protect’ people’s feelings.

  3. To look good. This could be anything from creating a false image of oneself to attempting to be socially accepted.

I am a what you see is what you get type of person and I’m not someone who agrees in lying at all. You know the infamous saying, ‘the truth will set you free’ – now that’s the truth. Lying inevitably leads to more lying and covering up and then you actually have to remember the lie and create a fictional story around it so that the lie can stick like glue in people’s minds and usually lies don’t seem to entirely make sense.

There are times I have witnessed and even in my own life that when you lie you become a slave to that lie. You’re in bondage. You’re entrapped in a fictional story that can’t be undone unless you hold your hand up and confess, which even then will most likely have worse consequences than the truth initially would have.

I remember a guy I was particularly dating at one time. We were talking, you know getting to know each other. I dated him previously but it didn’t work out and we later started talking again. If there was ever an award for the person that could lie through his teeth even when you’re looking at him in disbelief, he would get that award. He lied like it was going out of fashion and when I say fashion I mean fashion that doesn’t even fade away.

We weren’t even in a relationship but I couldn’t even ask him generic questions and get honest answers. I would ask him about his past relationship history and past girlfriends and not only would he be vague but he would always match my answers to his – or at least try to. He’d always beat me to the punch when it came to asking questions so that he could get a sense of what I would say and concoct a story that he would say that wasn’t too different to mine.

We spoke everyday and all the time which I enjoyed doing until I noticed that we were only speaking via phone when he was available because the few times that I would call him instead – guess what – he couldn’t answer his phone. That wasn’t even what perplexed me, what baffled me was the elaborate stories he would tell that were just, erm, slightly far fetched. Bearing in mind that we would usually message each other throughout the day. On one occasion when I called him and he didn’t answer he told me that he had back pain and that’s why he couldn’t speak to me the evening before like he usually did. This back pain disappeared after a couple of days and although his living arrangements didn’t change, he was as fine as a fiddle and never mentioned a back pain again.

Usually when I tried to call him previously and couldn’t get through to him it was because his mum and aunt or another family member was talking to him about life and marriage.

I remember the last time I called him which was the deal breaker for me as it was apparent that he was either living a secret life or was doing things that he didn’t want me to know of. Either way, I’m a no drama kind of girl and if I sense things don’t make sense, then I usually act on this instinct. We were texting each other the whole day and I told him about a programme I was watching that I wanted him to watch (since he appeared to be at home), he asked me about the programme so I decided to call him to explain. To my surprise, yet again, he didn’t answer. When he called me back   I was determined not to pick up but to call him back later on. When I attempted to call him, it seemed as though he had blocked my number as his number was not going through and so I thought, well I know he drives and doesn’t take underground and he lives in London where there is phone signal soo…

He sent me a message (via an internet based app) asking me to let him know when I was ready to talk, which I did. To my surprise, when he called me he told me that he had to take his mum to the accident and emergency unit at their local hospital as she was complaining about stomach pain. He called me later on and told me that the hospital gave his mum antibiotics and sent her home.

The next day I was acting odd towards him as I had already made up my mind that he could not be trusted and that there was definitely something that didn’t seem to add up – didn’t quite make sense and I couldn’t work out this puzzle I had been trying for so long to finish. I spoke to him that evening. He said that his brother was with his mum at the hospital because he had to go to work. I’m immediately thinking, “I thought they sent your mum home with antibiotics and how did a good conversation via text change suddenly the moment I called you?”

Of course there are many more examples but the message is loud and clear. Not only does lying make it difficult for me and people in general to tell who a person really is but it is also associated with deceiving. The real problem is, is that those who do it become untrustworthy and can easily lose friendships and tear relationships apart at a blink of an eye because of it.

The stress that it can cause is often unnecessary and let’s face it, I know if I’ve been lying and deceiving someone, I can’t really sleep at night and on top of all the things I have to remember, I also have to remember that lie and the string of lies that comes with it as well, gosh that’s headache.

In the end lying is just a conundrum, a puzzle with missing pieces – a jigsaw that can’t be completed. It’s not worth it, so I always try and make a conscious effort to tell the truth even if it hurts – I know it usually won’t hurt as much as the lie probably will in the long run anyway. Besides, one lie can make everything else the person has ever said become questionable and who wants to be questioned about everything?

HettyAsh xx

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The Difference Between The Go Getters and The Dreamers

In the words of Usher “Strivers achieve what dreamers believe”.

This quote in my opinion is self explanatory. We all have dreams and aspirations – that’s the easy part. However, in order to make our dreams come to fruition there’s often a lot of work that needs to be accomplished, in order for our dreams to become tangible.

This crossroads is where people are divided and they begin to separate the wheat from the chaff.

I consider myself to be part of the elite group that falls in the go getters sections and I’m going to explain why.

From a young age I have always had this self believe that I would be very successful and started looking up to people who possessed the kind of success I wanted to emulate within my own life. One of the people I really looked up to was Kimora Lee Simmons. She embodied everything I felt success truly meant, from having a wealthy, successful husband, to having children and running an empire such as Baby Phat. It would have been so easy for her to just enjoy the lavish lifestyle Russell Simmons provided for her, but she had dreams and aspirations of her own and after watching and learning from Russell, she put her own vision into reality.

Even with all the wealth of the Simmons family, they recognise that in order to have any type of success it’s not enough to just have a dream, you have to physically put yourself out there and actually get your hands dirty in order for anything to be accomplished. I remember watching Kimora Lee Simmons’ reality television show, “Life In The Fab Lane”. She would always say that she would never ask any of her employees to do something that she wouldn’t do herself and in this instance she was referring to cleaning her warehouse. To me it showed that she wasn’t afraid of hard work, but also she realised the importance of not being too big to humble oneself.

So it’s easy to see that go getters are cut from a different cloth all together. When I compare myself to others, I see that my attitude and attributes are different to those that just dream about what they want from life. I truly think that everything in life starts with a word. I put the start of my success down to the words I would speak over my life. Positive talk combined with positive actions equals success. It’s so vital to say and do the right things and a lot of times my friends would always point out that I speak very highly of myself and would speak success into my existence.

I did not notice this as my logic would tell me that in order for me to achieve anything I have to first speak it out, then take the necessary steps into fulfilling that prophesy and not giving up at the fist sign of trouble or challenges. Being resilient and dedicating myself to the particular goal ensures that I always come up on top.

One example I would like to use about my own personal experience of being a go getter took place where I used to work. I always “dreamed” of becoming a manager at this work place and my colleague and I would always talk about it, but I knew only one of us would achieve this dream, and dare I say it, I knew it would be me. I started at the bottom of the organisation and people thought I was crazy for doing that, simply because I had a degree. But I knew different, I wanted to know the job inside out and at all levels in order for me to be so knowledgeable about the company that I would be invaluable and hard to replace. So I did this for 6 years and worked my way all the way up. I achieved this title in spite of all the challenges and knock backs that I faced and I was adamant from the start that I wouldn’t just dream about this position, but I would become the face of it.

To conclude, I think it is evident to see there is a clear difference between go getters and dreamers. Us go getters do not rely on anybody, we create our own opportunities and we create our own destiny. Whereas dreamers imagine all the possibilities whilst knowing deep down they don’t have what it takes to make it to the top. Do you have what it takes to make it to the top?

xo Asiabee

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Takeaway, Replace and Retrain. Healthy Tips To Stay In Shape

Hey guys and dolls,

It’s that time of year again. We’ve all made major New Year’s resolutions, and at the top of most people’s list is vowing to loose weight and get back in shape. If your anything like me, you’ve been talking a real good talk and now the time is upon you to actually do the walking. So January is really here and already I’ve slipped of the band wagon. But this time round I’m getting back in the game and staying true to my vision.

I have decided to tackle this weight loss thing from a different angle this time round using my methods of takeaway, replace and retrain. Stay with me all will be explained it’s pretty simple really.

So what do I mean by takeaway, replace and retrain. To put it simply takeaway means I will be omitting certain food types from my diet. Such as anything that is high in starch i.e. wheat, rice, pasta, bread and so on and then replacing it with quinoa, sweet potatoe, lots of green veg, salads and of course fruits. You have to be careful with fruits as some fruits are high in sugar. So it’s best to stick to berries, grapefruit, kiwis etc.

So by doing this I am actually retraining my brain to crave better foods, rather than what my brain has become accustomed to. You see I told you it was simple.

And here is something else I’m going to throw in for free lol. You know doing something as simple as having warm water with a slice of lemon can have a huge impact on your skin and weight loss. So go ahead try it. Also trying to eat foods such as avocado is the good fat your body needs, and whilst you’re there try peanut butter, unsalted nuts and porridge.

If you’re a meat lover like me, aim for meats such as turkey, duck and anything with wild at the beginning of it. It just means that the meat will be leaner and better for you.

Last but not least exercise, exercise, and exercise. As much as I try to avoid this I know it’s a necessary component in keeping in shape and getting my mind right. If you’re not into the gym then try something else such as Zumba, or even ballroom dancing. You can also do Yoga or Pilates which will also help you to stay in shape and feel great.

So there you have it, I hope I have provided a new perspective into loosing weight and I hope my handy tips will be of help in your weight loss journey.

xo Asiabee

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