Should Being In A Relationship Be A Necessity?

Hi lovelies,

OK, this might be a controversial topic, but I honestly think that it shouldn’t. This subject should really just be a given – people shouldn’t have to debate on something like this, well at least this is what I think.

Honestly, I can’t roll my eyes enough in relation to the amount of times I’ve heard, in my experience, many women (and men) desperately searching for a boyfriend/ husband or girlfriend/wife because they just can’t be alone. I have to say that this is a huge problem and I’ll explain why.

Being in a fruitful relationship should be a desire and not a necessity. We all have to love ourselves individually and be happy and comfortable with being in our own skin, being by ourselves and just enjoying our own company first. If we feel like dying of boredom and loneliness every time we are single then we have serious issues we need to deal with.

If you are looking for someone to love first, then what will happen is that, that person will become your world, you will become needy and sad every time they’re not around and just completely dependent on them. In other words, you will be draining them for everything they have and it will become exhausting with time.

We as individual people have to love ourselves first before we can love anyone else. We can’t love someone else if we don’t even love ourselves. Basically, it’s impossible to really love someone the way we’re supposed to if we don’t love ourselves. OK so we have to love ourselves first – I’m sure you get the drift.

If you are looking for someone to love first, then what will happen is that, that person will become your world, you will become needy and sad every time they’re not around and just completely dependent on them. In other words, you will be draining them for everything they have and it will become exhausting with time.

You won’t add any value to the relationship because you can’t even be by yourself. There won’t be any good fruit and even if there is it will be very, very tiny and mostly because of the work the other person is putting in.

You become desperate which is never a good thing because then you will most likely end up in the wrong type of relationship. You will end up being in a relationship with someone who will use, abuse and manipulate you. You will see this person as perfection when everyone else might just see him/her as the complete opposite, but that won’t even be the sad thing. The saddest thing will be that you won’t even notice. The red flags, will be green, green and green in your eyes.

You have to be happy with yourself first. This includes enjoying your own company, being at peace with yourself and having the will and desire to do better for yourself without having someone around, such as looking nice and focusing on your ambitions.

I’m a single girl and although it’s nice to be in a relationship, I’m not desperate to be in one because if I’m in a relationship then I know it is going somewhere, or at least I hope it does. I’m not running around like a headless chicken aimlessly trying to find my ‘other half’ because by the way, I’m supposed to be one whole person who is looking for someone to add to my life and I to his.

So that’s where I’m at so please, please, please stop with the whole I need someone to complete me and pushing someone to be in a relationship when they might not be ready or they might not have found the right person for them. OK so I can be a little bit guilty of that – I think my instincts is to try to match everyone else up and everyone’s like, ‘what about you Hetty’?.

HettyAsh xx

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  • For me this is not a controversial subject and I am very glad that you’ve described so wisely common problem. It is sad that some people can not be alone and that because of fear they decide to be with anyone.

    • Thank you Ewa for your comment! I completely agree – we should be happy by ourselves first.