How To Spot Red Flags In Early Stages Of Dating Part Two

How To Spot Red Flags In Early Stages Of Dating Part Two

Hi people!

A few weeks ago I published a post on How To Spot Red Flags In Early Stages of Dating Part One. I’ve been saying this for a while now but when it comes to dating, it’s not just about having fun, laughing and just ‘living the life’, it’s much more than that. I go to numerous talks based on love life held at Love Talk Live at the Rainbow Theatre in London. These talks are also international so just look them up online. I have learnt from my own experiences and experiences of others because after all, you’re not wise if you don’t learn from your own mistakes and that of others.The below points are literally what I’ve come to realise when it comes to dating. I originally published this post on Go Dates.

Family and Friends Say Hell No

Usually, family and friends have your best interest at heart. They often see things that we don’t see because we’re too infatuated about our new Mr or Miss to realise. One thing is for certain is that if different people who don’t even know or speak to each other are saying the same thing about a person, then it must be true. Trust me, they didn’t read each others’ minds, they have just noticed a thing or two about your new guy.

This doesn’t mean that you should run away just yet, but perhaps you should definitely pay close attention to see if what people are saying is indeed true. In saying this, you should never confront the person directly. This is because, if what your loved ones are saying is true and that you should be careful, your guy will just deny it and change his tactics.

He/She Puts You Down

One of the main reasons for being in a relationship should be the notion of finding someone who can add to your life, instead of subtract from it. You want someone who will add value. Well, news flash, not everyone will add value to your life, some will just take, take and take, until there’s nothing left.

How can you spot someone who puts you down either in a manipulative or open way? Well, 9 out of 10 times your spirit should be lifted up after having a conversation with them, if it’s not, ask yourself why? Do they appear to be very negative towards you as a person, such as telling you that you don’t do anything for them even though you’re only dating and they haven’t done anything for you either? Are they the last ones to cheer you on and instead of complimenting you, do they slate you?

If you’re unsure if they’re really this person who is just there to put you down, test them. Tell them about your future goals and ambitions or even point out a physical feature you have like your nose or arms. What do they say and how do they react when you bring up such topics?


This is an interesting one because the truth is everyone will hurt and offend you, however, some are worth fighting for. To be in a relationship you need to be thick skinned. I was the person who would be like, ‘I’m not going to be with that person anymore because he did this or he said that’. I was wrong for thinking that way, because no one is perfect.

If you notice that you’re dating someone who is always offended and upset by pretty much anything, then he or she is not ready for a relationship. There are some people who love to play the blame game. Everything is everyone’s fault but theirs. If they’ve upset you, it’s your fault, if you wronged them it’s your fault, if they made a mistake it’s your fault. Do you see the pattern?

This is the perfect opportunity to test the person in question to see how they react. Confront them about something they’ve done or said that upset you and observe their behaviour and what they say.

The Lazy 

I am attracted to go-getters as in go get a job, go get some money and just go make something of yourself. We can all agree that life is hard and nothing good comes easy. Nonetheless, if you’re dating someone who appears to be stagnant in life and not really doing anything or going anywhere, that’s a big problem.

If they’re lazy about things like getting a job, then they’ll probably be lazy when it comes to things concerning you. Let’s face it, you don’t want to be the only one putting in effort when it comes to your relationship.

There are many other red flags when it comes to dating but these are definitely the most common. If you can watch out for these negative signs, you will save yourself from so much trouble and problems in the long run. A scratch can appear in a second but a scar can take a lifetime to heal.

Have you experienced any of these signs detailed above and if so what have your experiences been? I’d love to know your thoughts.

HettyAsh xx


CreatHers: Envision My Dreams Tickets

CreatHers: Envision My Dreams Tickets

Hi ladies!


I am so excited to let you all know that tickets are out now for the CreatHers: Envision My Dreams event. It will be held next month on April the 23rd at 4pm.

This event is for female professionals, entrepreneurs and businesswomen who want to network and collaborate with like-minded individuals. There will be guest speakers, freebies and giveaways.

To purchase a ticket and find out more click here


Mother’s Day Gift and Celebration Ideas

Mother’s Day Gift and Celebration Ideas

Hi lovelies!

Mother’s Day is fast approaching! I have to say that I absolutely love celebrating this event and I know my mum does as well. Her birthday is always around the same time as Mother’s Day so she is fortunate enough to have two celebrations within a short space of time each year.

If you’re like me, sometimes it can get quite difficult having to think of unique gift and celebrations ideas each year. What should I buy for my mum? Where should I take her? What should we do? It can be a bore, but on the other hand, if your mum is like me then she’s probably slightly stuck in her ways and loves a routine of traditional get togethers and gifts. Well, without further ado take a look below of my possible suggestions for a beautiful Mother’s Day celebration.

Afternoon Tea

Afternoon Tea For Two At The Luxurious Waldorf Hilton

Whisk your mum away for an afternoon tea for two at this luxurious hotel and make her feel like she’s dining with royalty – after all, isn’t she royalty anyway?

The price is only £49. There are other hotels and venues where you can take your lovely mum to.

Chocolate Dreams Afternoon Tea with Hotel Chocolat

This definitely sounds like a dream. Ever heard of the chocolate brand, Hotel Chocolat? Well it is just dreamy to say the least. The price for this afternoon tea is £40 per person with unlimited chocolate. This is located at The Den in St. Martins Lane.

Afternoon Tea at the Mews, Mayfair

Mayfair is such a lush and beautiful area that I just couldn’t believe my eyes when I saw this being marketed for £24.37 per person. That’s incredible! You will definitely feel at home with the decor and cosy sofas.

There’s a whole range of options for Afternoon Teas via this website so check them all out and have a blast.


Singapore Garden

Feast your eyes on an affordable yet luxurious restaurant that sells Singapore dishes  which is similar to chinese food. It’s a cosy restaurant with food that looks divine.

Grain Store

Just visit this website – I dare you. I love the layout and colours of the site – it looks so arty. Well, that’s not why you would visit the restaurant so let me get right to it. It’s a lovely looking and spacious restaurant which sells a variety of dishes from brown rice, to salmon, to french toast with salad and fillings. The price is very affordable, In fact, it’s so affordable I could purchase food from there for my lunch at work.

Jin Jui

If you love Korean food, or want to give it a try then perhaps you should take your mum to Jin Jui. They sell a wide range of food and I’m sure it will be well within your budget.


If you have the budget and consider yourself as an adventurer who would literally just get up one day and go to a destination just because you can then a cruise may be the way to go.

There’s various cruises that if you ask me are quite affordable if you take into consideration the places it takes you and the short space of time between booking the cruise and going on the cruise.

Royal Caribbean have cruises that pick you up from the UK and whisk you away to parts of Europe such as Spain, France and Portugal.

Cruise Deals offers you cruises that erm, well have deals so you can do a roundtrip in the UK i.e. through Southampton or go to Europe and ‘live the life’ without spending all your dough.

A European Daybreak

Have you thought about taking your beloved mum sightseeing for the day? If you have that’s very sweet of you and don’t worry there’s still time to make plans. I love because it really is all about making last minute plans at reasonable prices so check it out and let me know where you end up going.


OK so buying flowers for your mum is a classic Mother’s Day gift, but have you thought about ordering flowers that come with a fruitcake that delivers it straight to her home? An online website called Bunches does just this so check it out and let me know what you think. They also deliver for free, so what more could you ask.

Appleyard flowers deliver flowers straight to your door and can I just say that the flowers on the website look heavenly.


If you ask me, nothing says I appreciate you more than a beautiful piece of jewellery. By jewellery, I mean real jewellery. Here are my top five places to buy jewellery.

F Hinds


Ernest Jones


H Samuel

Personalised gifts

My go to place right now for personalised gifts (although I don’t go very often) is Not On The High Street. It lives up to it’s name as I don’t ever really find these unique products on the high street.

Cake Baking

If your mum is anything like mine then she will be a really good baker. Spend time with your mum baking delicious treats for the day so that you can scoff your mouth.

Spa Trip

Photo credit: Karl Cossio

Right now Spa Break seems like the go to place to book a lovely spa break. It has so many different locations that you don’t need to scroll Google to find a nice place to go to.

Bath Like A Queen

If your mum loves feeling like a queen in the bathroom and is all about buying bath bombs, and bath creams and lovely massage soaps then perhaps you can splurge at one of the below stores just for her.


The Body Shop


So there you have it! A nice comprehensive post filled with ideas on what to do for Mother’s Day and what to buy for your beautiful mum.

What do you think about my suggestions? Did you find them helpful? Let me know in the comments section.

HettyAsh xx


CreatHers: Envision My Dreams Event

CreatHers: Envision My Dreams Event

Hi girls!!

I have an amazing announcement to make which I’m really excited about. I am currently organising my first ever CreatHers event with the founder of a freelancing hub for female creatives called The Shelancers Hub.

It will consist of a combination of sections to help female creatives, entrepreneurs and aspiring businesswomen to get together, network, collaborate, create and plan your vision for the near future.

There will be guest speakers who will be professional and reputable women in their respective fields, as well as two hosts. These hosts are highly experienced in hosting vision board parties and coaching and advising aspirational women.

This event will be huge and each person would have walked away with an expanded list of networks, a useable vision board and collaboration opportunities.

Girlies, be prepared to literally be blown away! There will be freebies, giveaways and even opportunities to showcase your work and speak to a very large group of attendees.

If you would love to sponsor our event or be a vendor and would like more information, then get in touch by emailing or

So when will this amazing event be ‘I hear you ask’?

CreatHers: Envision My Dreams will be held on Sunday the 23rd of April at the Crowne Plaza Hotel  in Blackfriars, London from 4pm to 7pm.

It will be a ticket only event and tickets will be released in approximately one week’s time.

More exciting information will follow shortly, including who our guest speakers, hosts and sponsors will be.

My lovely subscribers will be the first to know when tickets go live so if you haven’t yet subscribed to my blog, what are you waiting for?

I know many may not know, but most of my readerships are males so don’t worry fellas, I haven’t forgotten about you. I will hopefully be organising an event for you guys as well but in the meantime check out my blog posts if you haven’t already.

HettyAsh xx


How To Spot Red Flags In Early Stages Of Dating Part One

How To Spot Red Flags In Early Stages Of Dating Part One

If there’s anything that I’ve learned about dating that I strongly believe everyone should know, is that dating is about being vigilant and observant as opposed to just having fun. I’m a single girl, yes I’m not in a relationship. I hear you ask, ‘well what do you know about dating if you’re single’? It’s a very good question to ask.

I’ve been on countless dates in the past, attended major national love life based events and I attend weekly Love Talk seminar’s at least once a month. These events and seminars are hosted by married couples who profess that they have been happily married for years and guess what? I believe them.

I had a guy who was so complexed by my understanding of him after talking to him for a couple of months that he asked me if I had previously studied anything to do with psychology. The answer was and still is no. All you need to do guys is to be vigilant and observant when you’re dating someone and you will save so much heartbreak and stress in the long run. This article is simply a manifestation of my experiences, other people’s experiences and what I’ve learnt from said talks. I originally published this post on Go Dates .

There isn’t necessarily an art to spotting red flags during the early stages of dating, but the dating process is what I like to call, an assignment. You have to know and learn the right things about the other person and test them along the way.

Regardless of how you meet a potential partner, there will inevitably be both clear and more discreet red signs that will be visible if the person is just not for you. There are two obvious questions that spring to mind – what are the red flags and how can you spot them? Let’s delve in shall we?

When you’re dating someone there should be a level of transparency. Dating is the perfect balance between not owing the other person anything as you’re purely just getting to know each other, but wanting to make a good impression at the same time.  Therefore, in reality, if the person is not transparent, then he/she is being secretive.

Secrecy and Lies

I have never heard anyone say that they have been in a happy and fruitful relationship with a liar or a secretive person. This type of ‘happy’ relationship just doesn’t exist. It brings nothing but uncertainty, confusion, insecurity, pain and stress. You could be with someone who is secretive and a liar for years and still know absolutely nothing about them, even though you may be living with them.

If you’re dating someone who is a compulsive liar and/or is secretive you need to run and run fast.

Catching people who possess these traits is very easy. You start off with asking them basic but important questions, for example, how many relationships have you had and why did they end? What do you do during your spare time? What job do you do? Paying attention to the responses and answers they give is also very important. A good trick is to ask the same questions in a different way on other occasions. It’s unlikely that they will answer you in the exact same way, but you will be able to catch them out if their answers don’t correlate or make sense.

When you’re dating someone there should be a level of transparency. Dating is the perfect balance between not owing the other person anything as you’re purely just getting to know each other, but wanting to make a good impression at the same time.  Therefore, in reality, if the person is not transparent, then he/she is being secretive. I don’t mean that said person needs to reveal everything about themselves, because at this stage they really shouldn’t, but they should be able to tell you if they are going away for the weekend for example.

Lack of Character

Someone who lacks character is a person who says they are going to do something then don’t do it. They are those who are constantly changing their minds and they are what I like to call actors. They are insincere and their behaviour and reactions to certain situations just confuse you.

They can be so confusing that they seem to just appear in and out of your life like a yoyo. Well as they say, YOLO (you only live once) so why waste valuable time on a person like this?

Such people lack good and solid characteristics. You can’t trust them, you can’t believe them and to be honest, you shouldn’t be dating them.

If you’ve made plans with your date on several occasions and he or she continuously cancels or re-arranges with little or no notice then ‘Houston, we have a problem’. Someone who is serious about you would take things like this seriously.

Relationships shouldn’t be about running a race or competing with the next person.

Things Move Too Quickly

Relationships are supposed to be for long term purposes. With each relationship comes new lessons, new experiences, but also new baggages. Ideally, you don’t want to be jumping from person to person, so is there really a need to rush a relationship?

In saying this, there isn’t a specific timeframe to know if you’re ready to make it official, but I think we can all agree that there are certain things you need to know about the person before you make such a big decision.

If you’re dating someone who is constantly pushing you to take your relationship to the next level, that should be a sign that you need to cool things off a bit and figure out why that is.

Does he keep asking you to sleep with him, is she constantly begging you to introduce her to your family, or perhaps he’s talking about marriage and you don’t even know where he lives?

Relationships shouldn’t be about running a race or competing with the next person, so tell your guy to take a chill pill if such signs seem to appear.

Have you experienced any of these signs detailed above and if so what have your experiences been? I’d love to know your thoughts.

HettyAsh xx