Why Are People Jealous of You?

Why Are People Jealous of You?

Throughout my life I have been analysing the concept of jealousy and why some people possess this trait more strongly than others.

Destined For Greatness

It led me back to thinking about the bible and what it has taught me over the years. I have often heard that the “enemy” attacks us when we are in our mothers womb. So I started to think about this analogy on a deeper level. The enemy begins to attack us in our mothers womb. Why would he do this? At that point we are  defenceless innocent foetuses with the possibility to develop into a baby. Why would anybody want to attack such a thing? Then the quote came to mind, “jealousy is not about who you are but who you’re going to become”

Finally it clicked and it felt like a light bulb had just gone off in my head. You see the enemy knows that your destined for greater things way before you’re even aware of it, so in a strange kind of way a jealous person can also have this insight. Often I have been baffled as to why some people are so jealous of others, when looking into their lives, the jealous person ‘appears’ to have more, if we are thinking on a material level, but still they continue to speak badly to that person, and often they try to belittle them or dismiss their accomplishment.

I have experienced this type of attitude from others within my social circle, and I would think to myself why would so and so be jealous of this particular person when they ‘seem to be doing more in their lives.’ Again this quote popped back in my head, so I may not be all that I’m supposed to be now, but clearly they can see something that I can’t which triggers them to display this behaviour.

So what do you do now?

You must decide to turn this negative into a positive and begin to think and take steps towards what the jealous person can see. Clearly they can see that you have the potential to go places and make it big, so it’s time you buckle your seat belt towards this destination.

So next time your in an environment whereby you are experiencing this ‘jealousy thing,’ just think to yourself that you have a destiny to fulfil  that is so big that your got the jealous person and the enemy all shook up. And embrace this for it signifies who you are going to Become

Ephesians 6:12:

For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.

xo Asiabee

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Under Achievement Means Unattractive Mess

Under Achievement Means Unattractive Mess

Hey guys and dolls,

I know it’s been a while since you’ve had a post from me. I hope you all enjoy reading this, you can thank me later lol.

So what do I mean by underachievement equals unattractive mess?

Well, speaking for myself I believe attractiveness is not based solely on looks but also on the persons personality, and where the person sees themselves in the future, and what footprints they have already left behind in pursuing this goal.

I will elaborate further. To take an example, when I used to go on dates, I would normally pick a man, who’s personality and attitude complimented mine. So being the hard working person I am, I instinctively would be drawn to a man who was more ambitious, and achieving more than I was.

So there was this particular time in my life when I thought I had met the man of my dreams. In the beginning he seemed so cool, so well established and full of life. But when I started to peel back the layers of onion skin, I began to see a completely different person. They say don’t judge a book by its cover, but I would go on to say don’t judge a book by what it  exposes to you within the first few pages. You must dare to read and go further if you really want to know how the story ends.

Okay so back to this guy, his schedule would always seem so busy, and when he would explain what he did as a living, well I could hardly believe what I was hearing. I was so impressed, and I would get so excited whenever he would invite me out. But as time went by, I would notice that the majority of plans he had, had not come into fruition. I tried to ignore it at first and I would make excuses up in my mind for the reasons why his personality was changing. Also I felt a little sorry for him. Until the day came when slowly but surely he was expecting me to pay for his lifestyle. So when we went out to dinner he expected me to pay, when we went to the cinema he expected me to pay, gosh I even learnt how to drive before he did, and you guessed it, he expected me to drive him around!

So there I was thinking, how this attractive man could do a 380 degrees turn around on his personality, attitude and achievements. Was he playing a character all along? Is this his way of luring people in? Or did his life take a significant turn downhill? I truly don’t know the answers to these question, but one thing I do know is underachievement equals unattractive mess. So guys and girls understand that being attractive is not all about how good you look but also all the good things you have achieved.

xo Asiabee

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Should We Try To Please Everyone?

Should We Try To Please Everyone?

Hey people!!

This is a very interesting topic. I feel like I know what most of you are thinking and are secretly (or overtly) saying which is, ‘well obviously you can’t please everyone’! Well, if that’s what you’re thinking, I completely agree with you and I am digitally shaking your hand. I’ll explain why.

It’s like a guinea pig in a wheel – you’ll just keep running and running until you get exhausted.

When I was young, I was very shy, an introvert and a massive people’s pleaser. I remember a specific moment in primary school when I used to have a pencil case containing various pens. My classmates before the class had begun, for some reason, all asked to borrow a pen from myself. I said yes to each and every single person who asked until I had none left. As I myself needed a pen to use, I asked my teacher if I could borrow one of her pens. To her dismay she told me off stating that I had given all my pens away.

I was very young and although this example is very small, if you fast forward to today, you will find many people trying to please everyone which of course is an impossible task. It’s like a guinea pig in a wheel – you’ll just keep running and running until you get exhausted.

The below quote really hits the nail on the head.

‘Woe to you when all men speak well of you’ – Luke 6:26

There is definitely something wrong if everyone is pleased and happy with you al the time. Imagine an honest and sincere person; a person who tells people when they can and can’t do something and when they do not approve of a particular thing for example. Not everyone will be happy with this person but at least they will be true to themselves and not ‘fake’ so to speak.

If you focus on being the best version of yourself and doing the right thing, you won’t feel so trapped in an endless cycle of trying to fulfil everyone’s desires of you.

You as an individual have to constantly make an informed decision as to what is the best thing to do and what is right and wrong. Some people may want you to do something that is morally wrong, so you have to be able to have the backbone to say no. Some people may even try to guilt trip you and make you feel inferior or bad for not behaving in a certain way or performing certain tasks.

It’s great to help people, to offer your services and valuable time and to be there for people but don’t forget that you’re only one person – one human being,  so don’t try to spread yourself so thinly. In doing so, you might wake up feeling completely drained and exhausted.

If you focus on being the best version of yourself and doing the right thing, you won’t feel so trapped in an endless cycle of trying to fulfil everyone’s desires of you.

So that’s what I think and I live by this.

What do you think guys?

HettyAsh xx

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Every year Is One Step Closer (To Achieving Your Ultimate Goals And Ambitions)

Every year Is One Step Closer (To Achieving Your Ultimate Goals And Ambitions)

Hello guys and dolls,

If you’re anything like me, turning a year older once I was 21 got terrifying and I would no longer shout from the rooftops that it was my birthday. I then had a change of philosophy and started to see the year differently. I questioned myself on why turning a year older was so overwhelming rather than it being a blessing. The answer I got back surprised me. I realised I wasn’t setting enough goals and targets for my life, thus with each year of getting older I wasn’t achieving all that I had set out to achieve.

Flip The Script

I flipped the script, did some soul searching and believe me that wasn’t easy and I started to set goals, aspirations and life development skills for myself. Each year I would tick of my list the goals that had been achieved. By doing this, it gave me a sense of purpose for my life and it directed me towards the life I wanted to live as well as the necessary steps I would need to take in order to bring these dreams to fruition.

Goals

My first goal was to get a university degree in social work. I had always wanted a job that interacted with people and helped them to better manage their lives, so I did an access course for the year. I was thrilled to past the course which then gave me access to attend Royal Holloway University of London where I attained my degree in social work. So at this point, 4 years of my life had been dedicated to higher learning and I was completely fine with that because finally I was doing what I set out to do with my life on a year by year basis. Whereas, previously I would have been so disappointed that four years of my life had past by and I wouldn’t have had anything to show for it.

Winning Streak

They say that once you’re on a winning streak the blessings keeps on coming; this is so true. I would also add that once you have figured out the strategy and methods that work best for you, it is easier to then apply those same methods to multiple areas of your life in order to achieve your goals and ambitions. That’s exactly what I did.

Ultimate Goal

My other ultimate goal was to get married and have children. I honestly thought that it would be an impossible mountain to climb and I couldn’t see how this could happen. You see, just like so many other women, I had already planned my entire life so I knew that by the age of 30 I wanted to be already married with 1 or 2 children. However, when I got to 27 and had just broken up with the person who I thought I would be married to, all of a sudden I saw the perfect picture I had planned for my life become distorted. Once again I found myself feeling the same emotions I felt when another year went by and I would be filled with anxiousness and disappointment, (as I knew what I wanted to achieve was slowly slipping out of my sight).

Faith

However, with a little faith, self believe and refusing to settle for just anything due to the pressures of age and years, I had a break through. I met the man of my dreams at the age of 28 turning 29. We got married within 15 months and had a child together. I am elated to announce that I have recently given birth to another beautiful boy. I achieved all of this just before the age of 30. So now I can confidently profess, every year is one step closer to achieving my ultimate goals and ambitions.

Encouragement

Never be disheartened if life doesn’t seem to go according to plan because with a little bit of faith, focus, determination and planning, you will eventually reach your destination. Just know that every year is indeed one step closer to achieving your ultimate goal regardless of how small the step may seem.

xo Asiabee

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Twenty-Heaven-Teen – How 2017 Can Be A Year Of Opportunities

Twenty-Heaven-Teen – How 2017 Can Be A Year Of Opportunities

Hey guys and dolls,

OK, so we’re nearly three months into 2017 but without sounding cheesy, I can’t stress that it’s never too late to plan out your year and make the most of it. I have to admit that this year is the first year that I’ve purposely written my goals and plan for the year in a dedicated book. Even though I have previously created a vision board on an A3 piece of paper. Having said this, it takes more than writing down you goals to turn them into reality, so how can you help to make 2017 a twenty-heaven-teen year for you?

The beginning of each year for everyone or at least most people like myself, (or at least the first few days) is a time where I verbalise the plans and New Year resolutions to myself. I tell myself things like, “I’m going to reach a certain point in my career as well as financially, network more and go out more and do things I usually don’t do”. Note that I say verbalise – what a mistake, right? Verbalising plans and goals is like getting a new job and being given a verbal contract. Anyone can say anything they want but by the time the sun goes down and the moon comes up, who is to say that they, or even you will remember what was actually said?

“Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results” – Albert Einstein. I believe the wise learn and the foolish never learn. Yes it’s a deep saying but I stand by this statement. I have to learn and change my previous routines.

My twenty-heaven-teen plan list:

1. Envision and know what your dreams, goals and aspirations are for the year.

I would suggest thinking of what you have always wanted to achieve. What aspirations lay in the foundations of your heart and what dreams keeping playing in your mind like a broken record?

I am a freelance broadcast television researcher. I work on various factual entertainment productions. I also occasionally work in the development department of companies which consists of coming up with programme ideas. I enjoy my job but it can at times be challenging. My goal for 2017 is to constantly be in a contract and work on more of a variety of programmes.

This means that I need to network more by attending various events and socialising with people in the industry I haven’t met before when the opportunity presents itself.

I also want to expand my friendship circle as I can sometimes (ok more often than not) be slightly unsociable. I am an approachable person and I’m the girl that laughs at pretty much anything, but I love being in the comfort of my own home. This is great but not so great when you work in TV, have a blog (which I want to grow) and ermmmm, well want to get into the dating scene.

I spent the last few years of my life focusing on my career, until I had that lightbulb moment and thought, well who said I can’t have a dating life and focus on my career at the same time, right?

2. Three month strategies work wonders

Now that you know what goals you want to achieve, the next step is to put them down on paper in a picture or notes formation or as a bulleted list and keep it somewhere as a constant reminder.

My life and my goals are always updating and upgrading itself so I would suggest revisiting your ‘vision board’ every three months.

I will be setting myself realistic steps every three months. Such steps will include researching on networking events, going out more when I’m invited to do so and forcefully stepping out of my comfort zone because if I’m too comfortable then I’m not progressing.

3. A positive mind attracts a positive life

“Oh that’s not really true” I hear someone say. Well lovelies, it kind of is. I am a firm believer than what you think can actually come into fruition whether good or bad. If you have negative thoughts then chances are your life will become negative.

Even if life seems to be crumbling around you, it’s always good to stay positive as it will lift your spirits and motivate and encourage you.

I am putting my hand on my heart and telling myself, Hetty be positive at all times or at least try to be most of the times because that will help your ‘vision board’ jump out of the paper and into real life.

Over the years I have distanced myself from people I thought were creating a negative impact on my life. This could be due to their lifestyle, their way of thinking, their behaviour, their beliefs just anything I knew would not be beneficial to me. As brutal as it may be, reevaluating who you spend a majority of your time with can be of great use.

I have to add and this is very important – you have to believe in yourself first before anyone else will. Don’t seek approval from people before you do what you know you can and should do within yourself. People will usually believe in you once they see results.

4. Action equates results

I personally like to say that 70% of people have goals which never turn into anything else other than goals because they don’t act. Zero action equals zero results and I mean zero, nada, nothing!

Acting sometimes can be hard but you’ve got to do what you’ve got to do. One example is when I knew I wanted to work in TV and although many didn’t believe it could happen, I knew it was what I wanted.

I conducted a lot of research and attended initial networking events that broadcasters and companies were holding. I applied for internships, work experience, volunteering opportunities you name it, anything I could think of. I went to countless interviews, approached and emailed people who were in the industry and just worked really hard and always did more than what was expected of me.

Breakdown:

  • Believe before you see and envision your aspirations.
  • Create a ‘vision board’, update it every three months and keep it somewhere as a monthly reminder.
  • Research the necessary actions needed to reach each goal.
  • Act.
  • Change your mindset and start seeing each obstacle, challenge and setback as another opportunity for growth and success.

There you have it, well there’s no time like the present so I better get started in creating steps to making my 2017 a twenty-heaven-teen year.

Let me know how you get on.

HettyAsh xx

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