What is the meaning of Easter?

I thought I’d write a short post about my thoughts on Easter and what it means. Easter is far more important than any other occasion including Christmas. As a Christian and as a follower of Christ I am forever grateful for the love Jesus had and still has for me. Jesus is God and God is Jesus, they are the same.

Jesus existed before he came as a man on earth and he exists now. He came as a man for this specific purpose – to die for our sins. As humans we are floored in so many ways, we make mistakes, we’re not always right and we do wrong against one another.

It was on a Friday at 3pm when He said “it is finished”.

‘When he had received the drink, Jesus said, “It is finished.” With that, he bowed his head and gave up his spirit” – John 19:30

“Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends” – John 15:13. Jesus didn’t have to die for us, but as He loved us he wanted to give us the opportunity of being saved and give His spirt to us to help us along our journey.

Jesus died for everyone, he allowed himself to be crucified. He resurrected after three days because death itself could not contain Him. He was and is perfect. He took our burden and our sins on that cross thus it is written;

“Christ hath redeemed us from the curse of the law, being made a curse for us: for it is written cursed is every one that hangeth on a tree” – Galatians 3:13.

Jesus was a curse on the cross. For this reason, along with the sole fact that Jesus is alive and has risen, I do not wear or condone crosses that have an image on them.

It is a very special time and a wonderful celebration. I accept this occasion, I accept Jesus’ death on earth for my sins.

What about you? What are your thoughts?

HettyAsh xx

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Should We Try To Please Everyone?

https://www.flickr.com/photos/heymans/4530848609/in/photolist-7UnMrt-JD3s7-ScHW57-5uNWmh-7ZjhNW-oDXsTd-5KBsA3-bXAyih-bBu8xj-s9HN-o9K5Ri-u61And-8DXN5P-7WR6sg-oSntbJ-qcNiRy-nmAX7n-9H7Ccg-dafrMe-ptRkd2-RNGHXm-5KBsB1-6js9PY-4UqvcP-ixTJh6-oVCCnZ-8TE1M-R4nWCE-pSyoEs-vgTG7f-crxGsJ-byeSEq-RKj736-6agku2-63UcvF-5V9hZ9-4qMtNQ-48GdKe-7bzviy-8GTuGv-mivoX-7AdqfR-SdzMUE-7qSPB4-nBKiSz-61YnS5-b4hrwx-LZER5-RkD4Ne-dyRPj7

Hey people!!

This is a very interesting topic. I feel like I know what most of you are thinking and are secretly (or overtly) saying which is, ‘well obviously you can’t please everyone’! Well, if that’s what you’re thinking, I completely agree with you and I am digitally shaking your hand. I’ll explain why.

It’s like a guinea pig in a wheel – you’ll just keep running and running until you get exhausted.

When I was young, I was very shy, an introvert and a massive people’s pleaser. I remember a specific moment in primary school when I used to have a pencil case containing various pens. My classmates before the class had begun, for some reason, all asked to borrow a pen from myself. I said yes to each and every single person who asked until I had none left. As I myself needed a pen to use, I asked my teacher if I could borrow one of her pens. To her dismay she told me off stating that I had given all my pens away.

I was very young and although this example is very small, if you fast forward to today, you will find many people trying to please everyone which of course is an impossible task. It’s like a guinea pig in a wheel – you’ll just keep running and running until you get exhausted.

The below quote really hits the nail on the head.

‘Woe to you when all men speak well of you’ – Luke 6:26

There is definitely something wrong if everyone is pleased and happy with you al the time. Imagine an honest and sincere person; a person who tells people when they can and can’t do something and when they do not approve of a particular thing for example. Not everyone will be happy with this person but at least they will be true to themselves and not ‘fake’ so to speak.

If you focus on being the best version of yourself and doing the right thing, you won’t feel so trapped in an endless cycle of trying to fulfil everyone’s desires of you.

You as an individual have to constantly make an informed decision as to what is the best thing to do and what is right and wrong. Some people may want you to do something that is morally wrong, so you have to be able to have the backbone to say no. Some people may even try to guilt trip you and make you feel inferior or bad for not behaving in a certain way or performing certain tasks.

It’s great to help people, to offer your services and valuable time and to be there for people but don’t forget that you’re only one person – one human being,  so don’t try to spread yourself so thinly. In doing so, you might wake up feeling completely drained and exhausted.

If you focus on being the best version of yourself and doing the right thing, you won’t feel so trapped in an endless cycle of trying to fulfil everyone’s desires of you.

So that’s what I think and I live by this.

What do you think guys?

HettyAsh xx

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Grey Suit, Wouldn’t Dare – Being The Best You Can Be

Hi people,

So guys, there’s something about wearing a grey suit that makes you look so sophisticated and professional. It’s weird because generally grey is seen as a dull colour and no-one would put their hands up to say that they like the colour grey because it’s dull, right? Even saying this, when one puts on a grey suit, particularly a gentleman, they look like they mean business – they are not here to play about, they are serious.

One thing you have to love about grey suits is that you can wear them with any colour (ok almost). It looks good with pink, blue, purple, red and the list goes on. Black is generally the go to shade for suits but you put on a grey suit and it’s like you’ve given suits a whole new meaning. Black is classic and very common, but grey? Now you mean business. You’re stylish but still have your game face on.

People are often like, oh so and so is so judgemental, but how can we not be when we can only go by what we see? If you turn up to a corporate office in tracksuit bottoms, be prepared to be given the side eye look and worse

So what’s my point here and what’s with all this analogy? Well, life is a fight, we have to look our best and be our best all at the same time. If we get tired, lazy or complacent, life will swallow us up and spit us out.

When it comes to work, we have to work hard, OK so this is a given, duh! But it can be easier said than done, especially if you don’t like doing a particular task, I get that feeling. However, we can’t let this defeat us and we have to give our best 100% of the time. People are watching us all the time – what we do, how we behave, how we speak and how we dress.

People are often like, oh so and so is so judgemental, but how can we not be when we can only go by what we see? If you turn up to a corporate office in tracksuit bottoms, be prepared to be given the side eye look and worse. As humans, it’s impossible for us to really know who we are on the inside, what is in our hearts and what is in our minds; “The Lord does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart” 1st Samuel 16:7.

We want respect but it’s hard to respect someone who doesn’t even respect themselves. It’s the use of bad language every time we open our mouth, or turning up hours late to meet someone or walking around the streets with your trousers dropping down to your ankles like hey, where’s your belt at?

If you’re throwing your weight around like you own the world or sleeping from morning to night and not looking for a job, it’s hard for the average person to show you respect

When people say that you have to earn respect, it’s true to a certain degree because if you’re throwing your weight around like you own the world or sleeping from morning to night and not looking for a job, it’s hard for the average person to show you respect. This is because they have to in a way, ‘put you in your place’. This means, your family, friends, partner, spouse or whoever will have no choice but to tell you off, push you to do what you have to do and make the decisions for you as you’ve shown you can’t make them yourselves.

In regards to talking about lovely grey suits which is of course our outward appearance, we can’t perfect our appearance on the outside without first fixing ourselves on the inside. Change takes time, I know because here I am working hard to change for the better daily. If I must say so myself, one thing that helped me and continues to help me is asking close relatives and friends what they think of me and listening as well as paying attention to what other people may say about me. This helps to give me an idea of the kind of person I am because let’s face it, if everyone seems to be saying the same thing – it just might be true.

I hope this post helps you like it did me.

HettyAsh xx

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The Hardcore Truths About Marriage

Hey ladies and gentlemen,

I was fortunate enough to have one of those text messages forwarded to me by a very good friend of mine. When I got the text through I thought to myself this is one of those message that randomly get circulated around Whatsapp, and at first I was a little apprehensive to read it, then I thought, what could it hurt for me to read just one more of these predictable messages.

Boy was I wrong, this message for me was one of the most important messages I believe I could have read, and just at a time when I really needed reminding of this crucial message. The message was entitled Hardcore truths About Marriage by Bishop David Oyedepo. Sometimes we think we know what produces a great marriage, but do we really. Did you ever think that, teamwork, the display of affection you allow your children to see, and spending time to nourish your respective other all have a great impact for a marriage to strive, work out and last? Well I won’t talk too much just read this message below by Bishop David Oyedepo and tell me you’re not inspired and glad to read this word of wisdom.

HARDCORE TRUTH ABOUT MARRIAGE!!! BY BISHOP DAVID OYEDEPO

1. There is nothing that threatens the security of a man than the thought of another man competing for the attention and affection of his wife. Nothing is more painful. Nothing is more disrespecting. Nothing is more insulting. Nothing is more belittling and degrading.

2. Marriage flourishes when the couple work together as a team; when both husband and wife decide that winning together is more important than keeping score.

Good marriages don’t just happen. They are a product of hard work.

3. Your children are watching you and forming lasting opinions on love, commitment, and marriage based on what they see in you. Give them hope. Make them look forward to marriage.

4. Husbands: The reason why other women look attractive is because someone is taking good care of them. Grass is always green where it is watered. Instead of drooling over the green grass on the other side of the fence, work on yours and water it regularly. Any man can admire a beautiful woman, but it takes a true gentleman to make a woman admirable and beautiful.

5. When a husband puts his wife first above everyone and everything except God, it gives his wife the sense of security and honor that every wife hungers for.

6. A successful marriage doesn’t require a big house, a perfect spouse, a million dollars or an expensive car. You can have all the above and still have a miserable marriage. A successful marriage requires honesty, undying commitment and selfless love and Jesus at the centre of it all.

7. Pray for your spouse every day; in the morning, in the afternoon and at evening. Don’t wait until there is a problem. Don’t wait until there is an affair. Don’t wait until something bad happens. Don’t wait until your spouse is tempted. Shield your spouse with prayer and cover your marriage with the fence of prayer.

8. The people you surround yourself with have a lot of influence on your marriage. Friends can build or break your marriage; choose them wisely.

9. One spouse cannot build a marriage alone when the other spouse is committed to destroying it. Marriage works when both husband and wife work together as a team to build their marriage.

10. Don’t take your spouse for granted. Don’t take advantage of your spouse’s meekness and goodness. Don’t mistake your spouse’s loyalty for desperation. Don’t misuse or abuse your spouse’s trust. You may end up regretting after losing someone that meant so much to you.

11. Beware of marital advice from single people. Regardless of how sincere their advice may be, most of it is theoretical and not derived from real life experiences. If you really need Godly advice, seek it from God-fearing, impartial and prayerful mature couples whose resolve has been tested by time and shaped by trials.

12. Dear wife, Don’t underestimate the power of the tongue on your marriage. The tongue has the power to crush your marriage or build it up. Don’t let the Devil use your tongue to kill your spouse’s image, self-confidence and aspirations. Let God use your tongue to build up your marriage and bless and praise your spouse.

I know your now thinking wow, that was a powerful message. Isn’t it funny how in one way or another we have probably heard about all these things but we haven’t really taken notice of the advice, or even implemented them in our marriage. Well I really do hope your now feeling enlightened, and blessed by this message. Most importantly remember it for when your experiencing those days when you feel like giving up on your marriage, refer back to this message and use it to encourage and strengthen you.

xo Asiabee

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Charm Is Deceitful and Beauty Is Vain

Have you ever met someone you consider to have the gift of the gab? Perhaps you would describe yourself as having such trait. They say they can worm their way out of any situation just by talking and make even the hardened of hearts melt at the knees through their words.

It is often said that guys are more charming than women. I agree, I’ve often witnessed and heard guys singing sweet songs to women (figuratively speaking) and for some women they take everything the guy has said at face value. No questioning, no reasoning, no why is he telling me this, no what does he want, no nothing but yes sir and he loves me so.

So why do you have to question things? Why can’t we just let things be? We have to question things because unfortunately the world isn’t as rosy, peaceful and as selfless as we would like it to be. If you don’t observe, take notes and learn you may just end up becoming a victim of something you don’t want to be.

“Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised” – Proverbs 31:30

For a long time I thought to myself, ‘charm is deceitful, really?’ However, upon looking deeper into this statement it really got me thinking about it – I realised that it’s true. It’s great to compliment people and to be complimented and in fact you should, but that’s not what charm is. Synonyms for the word charm include, enticement and to fascinate.

They talk as though they can’t bear to be without me and as though they miss me every time I’m not with them, but if I don’t give them what they want – they’re out the door sooner than I can say wait.

I’ve experienced within my own life that men who are generally interested in me don’t tend to ‘charm’ me. They don’t tell me sweet words like how they love me, how beautiful I am and how beautiful my smile is over and over and over again. They usually don’t say much, but their actions speak a thousand words. They check up on me at decent times of the day, they offer me sound advice, they want to willingly spend time with me, they are there for me in times of trouble, they are caring and they give without expecting anything in return.

However, men that I have found to be very charming have always talked the talk but have never walked the walk. They talk as though they can’t bear to be without me and as though they miss me every time I’m not with them, but if I don’t give them what they want – they’re out the door sooner than I can say wait. They want, want, want but often don’t give, give, give and even if they do give they hold me to ransom.

But why do they need to be charming? It is to cover the fact that they don’t actually care or love you and are not with you for the long haul but for something else that would probably only be to benefit themselves and not you.

It’s great to think highly of yourself, to deem yourself beautiful, you are, I am, we are all beautiful but thinking that you’re better than everyone else is not. Vain is defined as ‘having or showing an excessively high opinion of one’s appearance, abilities, or worth’. Synonyms include, narcissistic, self-obsessed and self-centred.

In my experience, both women and men who are vain tend to believe they can get anyone they want, be in any relationship they want and often feel they deserve more than what they give. They think they are better than you and walk around strutting their stuff with a look on their face of high importance.

They don’t walk around exclaiming from the rooftops that they are vain but if you look closer, it’s written all over their behaviour and things that they say without even saying, like “I can give you everything you’ve ever wanted”, OK but can you give yourself these things first then?

Some don’t necessarily exude this trait straight away, they reveal it in a more underlying way – it’s more of a read between the lines and you’ll get the drift type of thing. I remember there was a time I was talking to a guy and was telling him that it was not good to have different women and that he should stick to one. It was a long conversation where I even said that he wouldn’t want his girl sitting at home crying her eyes out whilst he goes about doing things he would not want her to do. What I got from him was, wow you’re complimenting me more than I’ve ever been complimented before and wow you think I can have all these girls. I said to him that even ‘ugly’ guys can have different girls.

I started to wonder why what I was saying didn’t bother him and instead seemed to boost his ego. It dawned upon me that he had this notion of him being this handsome and amazing guy that could indeed have all the girls and things he wanted. They don’t walk around exclaiming from the rooftops that they are vain but if you look closer, it’s written all over their behaviour and things that they say without even saying, like “I can give you everything you’ve ever wanted”, OK but can you give yourself these things first then?

View yourself as beautiful or handsome but don’t be vain about your beauty and there’s no need to charm anyone if you’re just being real and keeping it 100. 

I used to call myself a Christian but I really wasn’t because I wasn’t practicing at all. Now that I am, I can see a clear difference within myself but also within other people. I’ve noticed that the guys I have met in my church compared to the ones I met prior are different. There’s exceptions to every case but generally speaking, they respect/fear God, so they respect me as a woman, they don’t attempt to deceive or fabricate truths, they’re not vain, they are not charmers but doers and they are more transparent.

A women who fears the Lord is to be praised because her conduct, her understanding and her reverence for the Lord is what makes her possess the characteristics of a decent person. So if she looks for these traits in a man, it might be a longer wait but she will certainly not be disappointed as much.

So ladies and gents, view yourself as beautiful or handsome but don’t be vain about your beauty and there’s no need to charm anyone if you’re just being real and keeping it 100.

I would love to know your thoughts.

HettyAsh xx

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