Ever heard of the infamous saying, ‘follow your heart’? I have. Well, who hasn’t? One thing I have noticed regarding famous sayings and quotes is that a lot of them are not necessarily true. The quotes look nice, they sound nice and they even flow off the tip of your tongue so perfectly, but the shocking truth is that some are just misleading. “The heart is deceitful above all things” – The Bible, Jeremiah 17:9.
I can draw from my experiences and the experiences of others. Many women have fallen prey and victim to the endless sweet talk that they have received in the past. The type of sweet talk that never seemed to match with one’s actions. There are many who fall weak at the knees and feel so giddy that they just can’t believe how ‘perfect’ this new-found person seems to be.
There are many times where I’ve been told stories of where a guy wooed a girl so much that he eventually prepared a beautiful romantic meal for her in his home with roses. It was a dream. This woman slept with the guy and never heard from him after this.
Blinded by our Hearts
There are many instances where family and friends absolutely detest someone their loved one is dating. They see straight through his/her fake acts of kindness and gestures, their behaviour and their poor character. However, the person in the relationship sees this person as pure gold. They fail to see the signs of him/her being too friendly with the opposite sex. They repeatedly choose to stay with them after betrayals and even make excuses for them.
Somewhere at the back of their minds they know that something is not quite right. Nonetheless, because they love this person and they are controlled by their heart i.e. their feelings, they simply ignore what they know.
My mind is telling me no but my heart is telling me yes
Have you ever been in a predicament concerning your love life where your mind is telling you no but your heart is telling you yes? There are some people who cry wolf until kingdom come. They are always sorry for the same terrible actions they have committed. They apologise like the word sorry is going out of fashion and profess their love for you like no other. Yet, they repeatedly and constantly lie to you, abuse your trust, maltreat you and disrespect you.
They play on your heart and emotions and because you’re sensitive and caring, you accept their apology over and over and over again. You feel sorry for them and you love them, so for this reason, you cave in. You know that you should walk away but yet again you follow your heart.
That’s dangerous because the more you listen to your heart, the more hurt you will be and the more unwanted baggage you will unwillingly claim.
The heart can be erratic
One minute you want to be with this person and the next minute you break up. There’s a moment where you feel completely loved up and promise that this person will be your spouse in the future but then the next day you’re completely confused. That’s how the human heart is. One minute we can be on cloud nine and the next minute we can feel low.
Our emotions can be all over the place and if we follow them, we too can be all over the place, just like the wind. Which direction does the wind go? Everywhere. It flows everywhere.
No two relationships are the same and relationships are certainly not perfect. There will be ups and there will be downs. There will be arguments and disagreements but there will be joy and laughter as well. If you are led by your emotions you will act on impulse and always regret the previous decisions you made.
So guys, never follow your heart when it comes to relationships. Follow your mind, follow your reasoning and follow your intelligence. Of course, your heart will initially be drawn to said person because you’re immediately attracted to them for instance. However, that shouldn’t be the deciding factor of whether you should be with the person.
Love at first sight simply doesn’t exist. It is not real, there is attraction at first sight, lust at first sight, but certainly not love. Firstly, you can’t love someone you don’t know. Secondly, love is an action more than a feeling. You choose to love someone and to show them love. That’s why some state that they have fallen out of love with their partner. You fall out of love when you stop choosing to love them.
Can you relate to any of the examples I’ve mentioned? What are your thoughts?