Charm Is Deceitful and Beauty Is Vain

Charm Is Deceitful and Beauty Is Vain

Have you ever met someone you consider to have the gift of the gab? Perhaps you would describe yourself as having such trait. They say they can worm their way out of any situation just by talking and make even the hardened of hearts melt at the knees through their words.

It is often said that guys are more charming than women. I agree, I’ve often witnessed and heard guys singing sweet songs to women (figuratively speaking) and for some women they take everything the guy has said at face value. No questioning, no reasoning, no why is he telling me this, no what does he want, no nothing but yes sir and he loves me so.

So why do you have to question things? Why can’t we just let things be? We have to question things because unfortunately the world isn’t as rosy, peaceful and as selfless as we would like it to be. If you don’t observe, take notes and learn you may just end up becoming a victim of something you don’t want to be.

“Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised” – Proverbs 31:30

For a long time I thought to myself, ‘charm is deceitful, really?’ However, upon looking deeper into this statement it really got me thinking about it – I realised that it’s true. It’s great to compliment people and to be complimented and in fact you should, but that’s not what charm is. Synonyms for the word charm include, enticement and to fascinate.

They talk as though they can’t bear to be without me and as though they miss me every time I’m not with them, but if I don’t give them what they want – they’re out the door sooner than I can say wait.

I’ve experienced within my own life that men who are generally interested in me don’t tend to ‘charm’ me. They don’t tell me sweet words like how they love me, how beautiful I am and how beautiful my smile is over and over and over again. They usually don’t say much, but their actions speak a thousand words. They check up on me at decent times of the day, they offer me sound advice, they want to willingly spend time with me, they are there for me in times of trouble, they are caring and they give without expecting anything in return.

However, men that I have found to be very charming have always talked the talk but have never walked the walk. They talk as though they can’t bear to be without me and as though they miss me every time I’m not with them, but if I don’t give them what they want – they’re out the door sooner than I can say wait. They want, want, want but often don’t give, give, give and even if they do give they hold me to ransom.

But why do they need to be charming? It is to cover the fact that they don’t actually care or love you and are not with you for the long haul but for something else that would probably only be to benefit themselves and not you.

It’s great to think highly of yourself, to deem yourself beautiful, you are, I am, we are all beautiful but thinking that you’re better than everyone else is not. Vain is defined as ‘having or showing an excessively high opinion of one’s appearance, abilities, or worth’. Synonyms include, narcissistic, self-obsessed and self-centred.

In my experience, both women and men who are vain tend to believe they can get anyone they want, be in any relationship they want and often feel they deserve more than what they give. They think they are better than you and walk around strutting their stuff with a look on their face of high importance.

They don’t walk around exclaiming from the rooftops that they are vain but if you look closer, it’s written all over their behaviour and things that they say without even saying, like “I can give you everything you’ve ever wanted”, OK but can you give yourself these things first then?

Some don’t necessarily exude this trait straight away, they reveal it in a more underlying way – it’s more of a read between the lines and you’ll get the drift type of thing. I remember there was a time I was talking to a guy and was telling him that it was not good to have different women and that he should stick to one. It was a long conversation where I even said that he wouldn’t want his girl sitting at home crying her eyes out whilst he goes about doing things he would not want her to do. What I got from him was, wow you’re complimenting me more than I’ve ever been complimented before and wow you think I can have all these girls. I said to him that even ‘ugly’ guys can have different girls.

I started to wonder why what I was saying didn’t bother him and instead seemed to boost his ego. It dawned upon me that he had this notion of him being this handsome and amazing guy that could indeed have all the girls and things he wanted. They don’t walk around exclaiming from the rooftops that they are vain but if you look closer, it’s written all over their behaviour and things that they say without even saying, like “I can give you everything you’ve ever wanted”, OK but can you give yourself these things first then?

View yourself as beautiful or handsome but don’t be vain about your beauty and there’s no need to charm anyone if you’re just being real and keeping it 100. 

I used to call myself a Christian but I really wasn’t because I wasn’t practicing at all. Now that I am, I can see a clear difference within myself but also within other people. I’ve noticed that the guys I have met in my church compared to the ones I met prior are different. There’s exceptions to every case but generally speaking, they respect/fear God, so they respect me as a woman, they don’t attempt to deceive or fabricate truths, they’re not vain, they are not charmers but doers and they are more transparent.

A women who fears the Lord is to be praised because her conduct, her understanding and her reverence for the Lord is what makes her possess the characteristics of a decent person. So if she looks for these traits in a man, it might be a longer wait but she will certainly not be disappointed as much.

So ladies and gents, view yourself as beautiful or handsome but don’t be vain about your beauty and there’s no need to charm anyone if you’re just being real and keeping it 100.

I would love to know your thoughts.

HettyAsh xx

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