Hey dudes and dudettes,
People often have their own takes and ideas on forgiveness, some people proudly state that they don’t forgive those who wrong them. Others say that they will forgive once said people receive the same treatment they did and then you have those who forgive regardless – those are the strongest people.
It may be easy to forgive someone who offended you and apologised as a result, or those who received punishment as a consequence of their actions against you, but what about those who purposefully wronged you and aren’t even sorry? Do you forgive them?
If there’s anything that I’ve learnt and witnessed is the power of forgiveness and letting go which by the way go hand in hand but not without mentioning that you don’t necessarily have to forget.
Scientists will tell you, holding a grudge can be bad for your health, both physically and mentally. It sounds strange because people hold grudges against those who have hurt them, but instead of those people feeling the burn and the hurt, you are.
Holding grudges stems from unforgiveness and affects you more than it does the person. I know how hard it is to forgive people who we feel have done so much against us but the end result is peace, joy and happiness instead of resentment, hatred and anger.
Have you ever dealt with someone who badly wronged you and wasn’t even sorry for it? I have. Your natural desire is to concoct a plan that will have them feeling exactly how you felt, right? OK, but the thing is, the better option is to brush the situation of your shoulder like your brushing dust of you’re jacket. You’re squashing the problem right before their eyes and what’s even better is that you’re not giving them the satisfaction of them knowing that they got to you and what’s even better than that is that you’re at peace with yourself, because you’re not holding any grudges against them or the situation. To me, that sounds all too great and perfect because you’re able to move on and learn from your lessons.
One thing I have to stress is that forgiveness should never be mistaken for foolishness. Just because you have forgiven someone for their wrongdoing doesn’t mean that you have to accept them back into your life or put up with their wrongs. Kicking them to the kerb may actually benefit your life and make way for better things to come. I hear it all the time, “oh I forgave him/her so he/she is back in my life” for instance. OK but who said forgiveness meant accepting what was and is wrong?
I have to add that forgiveness does not mean lack of punishment. I say this in the sense that just because you forgive doesn’t mean that you are condoning their actions or negative behaviour towards you. It’s like someone robbing you, you forgive the person but you will still report them to the police and take the appropriate actions you need to.
So hey, at the end of the day it takes a strong person to continuously forgive, brush it off their shoulder and keep it moving like nothing happened but at the same time learning from their mistakes and lessons.