Hi ladies and gents,
This is such an important question for all of us – what does it really mean to be a boss and how can we ensure we are a boss in our own right? I’ve heard and learnt a lot about being your own boss when it comes to dating, being in a relationship, work, family and just anything that involves having goals which should be everything right?
I attended a relationship seminar called Love Talk a few months back where they spoke about being a boss when it comes to dating and relationships. This applies to both women and men. This was a real eye opener and really made me reflect upon my own life and experiences when it came to dating.
One thing is for sure when it comes to dating is that you as an individual should know what you want out of a relationship and the type of person that is NOT right for you. You might not know exactly what you’re looking for until you find the person but you should have a rough idea of the type of person who would be compatible to you.
In the end I was the one who was hurt and had been effected in a negative way because I was just not ready to move at the pace we had been moving in. When I tried a different approach and starting taking things much slower with someone I was dating, I noticed a magnetic force that was trying to drag me along for a roller coaster ride.
During this seminar they spoke about being in a relationship at your own pace and within your own time. When the hosts who by the way are a married couple, stated this, I understood exactly what they were talking about, because I had been there. I remember in particular, two guys I had previously dated (at separate times). Things moved very quickly and I was the girl who used to just go with the flow, even if I was uncomfortable with the rate that things were moving in. I felt that we were saying and doing things that should have come at a much later stage.
In the end I was the one who was hurt and had been effected in a negative way because I was just not ready to move at the pace we had been moving in. When I tried a different approach and started taking things much slower with someone I was dating, I noticed a magnetic force that was trying to drag me along for a roller coaster ride. I say this because, at the time, I felt I didn’t know him well enough. We had only been talking for a few weeks and he already wanted to establish a relationship with me. Don’t get me wrong, there isn’t an exact timeframe to date someone before you start calling them your boyfriend or (girlfriend gents), but you do need to know certain things about someone before you start making it ‘official’. You need to feel like you know enough about who and what they are before you can really call them your partner.
In my personal experience, I have noticed the guy wanting to take lead and be in complete control and dominate during the early stages of dating. However, I know there are women who also want things to be their way and will not settle for anything else, which is also wrong. You have to come to a mutual agreement and verbalise your thoughts in regards to the pace you are both comfortable in moving in. As I am saying this, I know this is not always practical because sometimes you can be talking but the other person is hearing the complete opposite of everything you’re saying. So I ask, how can you ensure that you are a boss when it comes to dating or being in a relationship?
- Have an acceptable criteria you are looking for when it comes to dating and stick to it as closely as you can. For example, do they have the same faith as you do and are they as ambitious when it comes to career goals as you, or are they too relaxed about work?
- Make sure you know enough about the person before moving to the next stage of the dating period/relationship. This includes knowing about his family, his upbringing, his past relationships and his friends.
- If you feel things are moving too quickly then say that – tell them that you’re not comfortable with the way things are moving and reiterate that until they get the message. If they come across as too pushy then that could be a red flag. On the other hand, if you feel things are moving at a very slow rate, express this thought and pose the question of where they see this going.
I can go on and on and on about this topic but I’ll leave it here for now until next time.