Communication is key! Yawn, of course it is, but are you really communicating?
I’m sure we can all agree that everyone expresses themselves whether verbally or physically, but how can you express yourself so that the other person knows what you’re saying? By talking. OK wait, although it sounds so simple, a lot of us find it hard to do so.
Some see silence as a form of communication – it is, but at the same time it isn’t, because helloooo we’re not mind readers, we don’t know what is really going on in another person’s head unless they tell us.
So on that note, I’ve listed below, three examples of poor communication:
- You want to grab the attention of someone you have a crush on.
- You update your Facebook profile picture hoping they will notice and comment on your picture or speak to you.
- You smile at them when they walk past you or stare at them awkwardly.
- You waffle on about how single you are.
- You arrange to meet a friend but the person turns up late.
- You shout at them.
- You give them the silent treatment.
- You leave before they arrive and make an excuse as to why you weren’t there when they eventually showed up.
- You feel a colleague isn’t portraying effective team working skills.
- You stop working with him/her as a team and start working individually.
- You give him/her the ‘cold shoulder’.
- You tell your boss.
I don’t know about you guys, but I’m not a mind reader, if you have something to say, say it. Most of the times people don’t even realise when they have wronged you and besides, who really has time to be decoding your ‘messages’. I haven’t evented away to get my mind to communicate via Bluetooth or WiFi (yet), so until then, effective verbal communication is always (and probably will always be) a good starting point to resolving any conflict or issues.
The above examples, I believe are forms of poor communication as you are not directly explaining to the individual what you want and how you feel.
The best way to express what’s inside you is to find an appropriate time to calmly verbalise your thoughts. This means, don’t shout across the room in front of people, or gossip about the person or give them the ‘silent treatment’ as these cases will most likely cause more problems.
So on that note, below are three examples of good communication (I’ll probably get tired of using the word by the time this blog is over, lol):
- Think over the situation a few times and think of the best approach. Different people react to things and people differently. Try, if you can and analyse the person and circumstance to find the best way to express yourself verbally.
- Ask questions. I say this as sometimes we may misunderstand people so asking questions will help you to better understand what place they are coming from.
- If angry, agitated, annoyed etc. calm down and try to detach yourself from being too emotional. Find an appropriate time to speak to the person either face to face, via phone or video call (don’t text). Express yourself in a calm manner and don’t shout or breakdance with your neck if you know what I mean.
I hope this helps guys!