Why Are People Jealous of You?

Why Are People Jealous of You?

Throughout my life I have been analysing the concept of jealousy and why some people possess this trait more strongly than others.

Destined For Greatness

It led me back to thinking about the bible and what it has taught me over the years. I have often heard that the “enemy” attacks us when we are in our mothers womb. So I started to think about this analogy on a deeper level. The enemy begins to attack us in our mothers womb. Why would he do this? At that point we are  defenceless innocent foetuses with the possibility to develop into a baby. Why would anybody want to attack such a thing? Then the quote came to mind, “jealousy is not about who you are but who you’re going to become”

Finally it clicked and it felt like a light bulb had just gone off in my head. You see the enemy knows that your destined for greater things way before you’re even aware of it, so in a strange kind of way a jealous person can also have this insight. Often I have been baffled as to why some people are so jealous of others, when looking into their lives, the jealous person ‘appears’ to have more, if we are thinking on a material level, but still they continue to speak badly to that person, and often they try to belittle them or dismiss their accomplishment.

I have experienced this type of attitude from others within my social circle, and I would think to myself why would so and so be jealous of this particular person when they ‘seem to be doing more in their lives.’ Again this quote popped back in my head, so I may not be all that I’m supposed to be now, but clearly they can see something that I can’t which triggers them to display this behaviour.

So what do you do now?

You must decide to turn this negative into a positive and begin to think and take steps towards what the jealous person can see. Clearly they can see that you have the potential to go places and make it big, so it’s time you buckle your seat belt towards this destination.

So next time your in an environment whereby you are experiencing this ‘jealousy thing,’ just think to yourself that you have a destiny to fulfil  that is so big that your got the jealous person and the enemy all shook up. And embrace this for it signifies who you are going to Become

Ephesians 6:12:

For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.

xo Asiabee

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Get Out Of The 9-5 Mindset

Get Out Of The 9-5 Mindset

There are so many of us who attain big aspirations, big dreams and want so desperately to own businesses and brands that we can be proud of. It’s one thing to want to be an entrepreneur or a business owner but it’s another to bring said ideas into fruition. So how can one get out of the 9-5 mindset?

Get out of the trap of having ‘the 9-5 mindset’ and break out and work for yourself – Joanna Abeyie.

I organised an event for female creatives and entrepreneurs called CreatHers which consisted of an amazing industry panel. The wealth of knowledge that was in that room was incredible. I never thought I could put on such an event that would receive such a positive reception until I did. The information that was relayed to the guests was packed with a powerful punch!

 

“Get out of the trap of having ‘the 9-5 mindset’ and break out and work for yourself” – Joanna Abeyie. Being a business owner or an entrepreneur is not for everyone, but for those who strive for this on a daily basis – you have to break the mould.

 

This does not mean that you have to quit your full-time job on a whim and take a ‘leap of faith’ (although, some have done just this and have gained success because of it). You have to assess your situation and decide what the best course of action would be. I am someone who can decide on something in an instant and use my faith and jump. It worked for the CreatHers event I co-organised.

 

Your 9-5 job should be viewed as an investment opportunity whilst you have an employer. Jen & Jay spoke about seeing your job as an opportunity to learn, grow and develop. They are investing in you as you’re learning valuable skills. Additionally, your employer is supporting you financially.

The 9-5 mindset is thinking that you are only good at one thing, or that you can only be successful if you’re working for someone else.

People are afraid. People have plans and goals for the future but there is only one thing standing in their way. Fear. Fear of the unknown, fear of success, fear of breaking out from the repetitive lifestyle and the list goes on.

 

To me, the 9-5 mindset is thinking that you are only good at one thing, or that you can only be successful if you’re working for someone else. It is thinking that your only source of income can only ever be from your employer. It’s the notion of attaining and maintaining the repetitive lifestyle of working 9-5 for a person, a company or a brand. It’s fitting into the norm.

 

Look out for part two when I delve into a successful fashion photographer, Jade who pursued a career that was not considered the norm by her family members. I will also address how Vaby and Joanne, owners of a skin coloured clothing brand re-built their social media profile.

 

What are your thoughts on having a ‘9-5 mindset’?

 

HettyAsh xx

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CreatHers Event Rouge and Teal – The Look

CreatHers Event Rouge and Teal – The Look

A week later and the CreatHers: Envision My Dreams event is still on my mind! It was an exciting time for me as it was the first ever event that I co-founded and organised from start to finish. As much as it was an incredible experience, it was also a very busy one too. I was working full-time and rushed off my feet like I was being chased by a tornado.

This event had to have a name attached to it – it had to be the event where people would remember this occasion for its classiness, sophistication, maturity and vibrancy all at the same time. Well I hope so at least. For this reason, my outfit had to speak in volumes but for all the right reasons. This was definitely not the event for me to be walking into in tracksuits (I don’t actually wear tracksuits anyway).

Chantel from Chany Personal Shopper approached me and was like, ‘girl I’d like to style you for this event… you need to look fly’. Perhaps not in those exact words but close enough. It was certainly an offer I could not refuse, besides, I’ve never been styled before for anything, I’ve always styled myself.

I must say that as much as I love styling myself, having a personal shopper helped more than I would have ever realised. It took the strain of me from having to find my own outfit amidst all the chaos involving the event preparations. To add, it opened me to the endless possibilities of being introduced to various outfits I would have possibly never considered. Chantel, chose my teal coloured ¾ length jumpsuit and my perspex heels. We also discussed how I would wear my hair and what earrings I would put on.

I love jumpsuits, but I’ve never thought of wearing 3/4 length trousers of any kind before. This is primarily because it can make you look slightly frumpy and unflattering if not worn properly. This teal coloured jumpsuit is very comfortable, loose fitted and is the right length.

I love the symmetric shaped design at the top half and the bow in the middle. The pockets also really help to make the outfit as I love jumpsuits and dresses that have pockets in them. They are just so handy.

The heels are amazing! They are classy, unique, very fashionable and on trend. The perspex heels matched perfectly with this jumpsuit.

As much as the outfit looked great on its own, I certainly needed a classy coat to match. I absolutely adore this coat due to the colour, material and the quality of it. To me, it looks expensive. Did you know that dark green and red go together so perfectly?

I styled my hair and wore my earrings which I love and vuolah I was hitting those streets feeling uber-confident.

Ry_1shot, the photographer who took  these photos is incredible! He can turn what may look like an ordinary background into an extraordinary shot.

On another note, if you follow me on Instagram you’ll notice that I love to create quotes and publish them on my page. One thought springs to mind, ‘It’s not how you look, it’s how you feel’.

What do you think of this outfit?

Photographer: @ry_1shot

Personal Shopper: @chany_personalshopper

 

 

HettyAsh xx

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CreatHers: Envision My Dreams Event Highlights

CreatHers: Envision My Dreams Event Highlights

Hey lovelies,

 

The CreatHers event has finally happened. All we have heard since the event is how brilliant it was and that it looked like so much money had been spent on the event. People were approaching us asking about whether we would be doing another event. I am so happy about what we have achieved. Thank you to all who came.

Myself and the co-organiser wanted to create an event where we could arrange for female creatives and entrepreneurs to be in one building. The notion was to enable females to network and potentially collaborate with like-minded individuals.

 

I believe we both have come across so many professionals who have started their own brands and businesses. They want to be the next generation of visionaries making waves. Hence, we created the opportunity for small brands and start-ups to attend the event as vendors, thus allowing them to sell their products and services.

 

 

 

Vendors and Sponsors

The vendors we had at the event were:

Consult Nessy

XseeLense

KOKO Maria

The Soap Connoisseur

They are all very different and unique brands. I even bought a pair of spectacular sunglasses from XseeLense. I witnessed people cueing up to look at their products and purchase items from them.

 

The networking area looked stunning. The sponsors we had did incredibly well through their displays, treat tables, designs and backdrops. These were supplied to us by Boateng Events, Sparkle and Sequin Events, Cakes by Shenna Darcheville, Glance Cupcakes and Leopard and Bows Events. We had the privilege of being sponsored by major brands, including Propercorn and Candy Kittens. For the full list of our sponsors visit my Instagram post.

The fabulous goodie bags included wonderful hair and skin care products courtesy of Pure Goodness and discount vouchers from Hair-iD VHS and Hustle and Heels.

We also had two amazing spoken word artists, Stephanie Ampofo and POAMZ. They spoke about the value we should place on ourselves as women.

Industry Panel Discussion

We had three specific topics that were centred around the industry panel discussion.

 

On the panel were the following:

Joanna Abeyie – broadcast and print journalist and founder of Hyden Talent

Vaby and Joanne – Nunude, skin coloured clothing brand

Jen Scott & Jay Tav – Hustle and Heels events and Hair-iD Virgin Hair Specialists

Jade Keshia Gordon – JKG Photography

 

Topics Discussed

  1. How one can launch a career within a competitive industry and stay relevant, whilst gaining continuous work.
  2. The Importance of branding and marketing.
  3. Networking and maintaining relationships.

I wish I could state in detail everything that was discussed but unfortunately, I can’t. The panelists had a wealth of knowledge which they so kindly shared with our guests.

 

Research and Launching a Career

 

First and foremost, think about what you’re passionate about and think about what you have to offer. There are many people doing one thing but nobody can do it like you.

 

Jen & Jay researched extensively before starting their events and hair brand. Research is not only what you find online or read in books, but research can be much more practical. They went to America to conduct research there. They said that even if you’re working for someone else and you don’t want to, be thankful as they are investing in you. They are funding your business and training you.

 

The Importance of Branding

 

Branding is very crucial. It is how people can know what you’re about in an instant and differentiate you from the next brand. It is important to find specific colours for your brand which are known as Html colour codes. Whatever colours you choose, ensure to stick to them. Establish your brand and publish it on various mediums such as business cards, flyers, t-shirts and posters.

 

Always ensure you have some form of business cards on your person wherever you go. Lack of finances is not an excuse to not have business cards. There are websites which create unique and professional cards for affordable rates, such as Vistaprint and Moo. You can also use your home printer or go to internet cafes.

 

Joanna spoke about her change and transition from one company to another, within the same industry but on the opposite spectrum. She had to change her approach and her target audience, including what she would post on her social media platforms. It is important that you are consistent in every area of your brand.

 

Networking and Maintaining Relationships

 

Jade spoke about treating people how you would like to be treated. Imagine going into a shop, how would you like the sales assistants to treat you? People talk whether it’s good or bad. You may provide a service to someone that was great. They may not use you again, but they will certainly talk to others about you and their associates will come to you.

 

Social media is not necessarily the best way to promote and market your brand. Sometimes it’s more beneficial to go out on the streets, hand out flyers and talk to people. Additionally, find out what social media platform works best for your brand, some of your customers may not use Twitter for instance.

 

Joanne and Vaby spoke of their customer base and how important it is to request for feedback. If a customer returns an item they want to know why, why have they returned it? Why didn’t they like it? They are more concerned about the customers that don’t come back than the customers that do.

 

Final Notes

 

Don’t be afraid to ask for help. There are times when you may need someone to help you with your project but can’t afford to pay them at that time. Ask them for help and tell them that you will repay them. It might not be in a financial way but in a form of a favour.

 

Everyone hears negative voices that may attempt to bring them down or discourage them. Don’t entertain these thoughts, whether they are voices in your head, friends and family projecting negativity or even strangers.

 

Have tunnel vision, it’s not very often that you will hear someone say this. Nonetheless, it is crucial that you are not distracted by other businesses and what they do.

 

Boss ladies who came to the event, what did you think of it?

 

Visionaries who didn’t attend the event, what do you make of these notes? What are your thoughts?

 

Photographer: ry_1shot and guests

HettyAsh xx

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What Questions to Ask on a First Date

What Questions to Ask on a First Date

Hey guys,

I think this is such a controversial topic as so many people have so many different views. The notion of what type of questions, if any, should people really be asking on a first date is one that has many different views. If you ask me, I honestly don’t believe in dating someone for a period of time without actually asking that person serious questions and really getting to know him. I first published this post on Go Dates.

Up until recently, I could have been dating a guy for months and not really know him. I am happy to say that that has changed now that I spend more time trying to get to know the person instead of just having ‘fun’. If you’re anything like me, then you will want to know what type of questions you should be asking on a first date. These are in no particular order but I do feel that all of the below are very necessary topics and questions to bring up in a first date scenario.

 

Tell me about your past relationship history

It is so important to actually ask your date how many partners they have previously had and how long their relationships lasted for and why they feel it ended. At this stage you don’t need to know the ins and outs of how all his/her previous relationships went but you do need to know the basics. I hear too many people say that their past is their past and that they don’t need to talk about their past girlfriends for instance. This is completely wrong because guess what? Your past has a lot to do with who you are now. You can never really know anyone, if you don’t even know what he did a few years prior.

 

Cultural background

A lot of people think that knowing about someone’s culture is not necessary. However, they couldn’t be far from wrong. A person’s culture can give you an idea of what his parents and family may be like. It can also help you to understand his/her way of thinking and what they could expect from a relationship. In some cultures they don’t believe that women should work. Other cultures believe that you should have a child within your first year of marriage and view it as an abominable act if you choose to not have kids.

Understanding ones culture can help you to decide if the person could be right for you. After all, if you’re both sitting on the opposite side of the spectrum when it comes to culture, then initiating a relationship with this person could be a disaster waiting to happen.

 

Faith

Faith is such an important topic to bring up. Some people don’t have any faith, but other’s live by their faith, like myself. I wouldn’t date someone who didn’t have the same faith as me because that would mean that we wouldn’t see eye to eye when it comes to a lot of things. You have to ask your date if he/she has a faith and if so find out what it is so that you save yourself from a lot of trouble in the long run.

 

What are your intentions?

This is such an obvious question to ask, because lady, if you’re excited about getting married and your date isn’t even thinking about marriage then you might as well take your handbag and go home. The same goes for you gents because after all, you have to be on the same page to even consider going on a second date.

Photo credit - Charisma Jonesford

What are your goals for the future?

This has got to be one of the most broadest questions you could actually ask on a date. At this point, you shouldn’t make any suggestions but just listen to their response because that will give you an inkling into what their future plans are. If they’re saying they want to move to China and set up a school there and you’re thinking what, I don’t even want to leave the English border then you know they’re not for you.

 

How are you with your Family?

If someone tells you that they don’t have a good relationship with their parents or siblings, you should ask why. There could be a very good reason for this which consists of situations that are out of their control. If your date gives the impression that they don’t have a good relationship with their family that could be a sign that he or she won’t treat you very well either. How can someone respect you if they don’t even respect their own family?

 

What are you looking for in a relationship?

Do they want someone who is driven, ambitious and career focused or do they want someone who is laid back, chilled out and outgoing? You might meet what they’re looking for but even if you don’t at least you have saved yourself the trouble. On another note, you may find your date giving you a long and frankly impossible criteria of who they are looking for. If this is the case, it may suggest that they have too much self-love and are looking for the impossible when they themselves won’t be able to match such a criteria.

 

Tell me about yourself

This point immediately reminds me of a job interview. You’re sitting in a chair with the interviewer staring at you and he states that you should tell him a bit about who you are in the simple phrase stated above. They want to know what parts of your life and career you think are the most important. What details will you provide him with and what will you leave out. Well, it’s the same when it comes to dating. You want to know what parts of their life they think are the most important to talk about. This will definitely let you know what he/she views as treasurable to themselves.

 

Friends

What are their friends like? Do they even have friends? If they don’t is there a particular reason for this? How do they describe their friends? Are their friends in relationships or are they single? How does your date spend his/her time with his/her friends? All valid questions. It’s OK if they don’t have many or even any friends because that could just be due to a variety of factors such as work or maybe they are just more of a home-buddy. As the saying goes, ‘show me your friends and I’ll tell you who you are’. In this case, you haven’t met their friends but you can grasp an understanding of who they may be.

Dating is definitely not an interviewing process. In fact, yes it should be an enjoyable experience but you should ensure that you’re making the most of your time in this busy life. You don’t want to place all your feelings in a person who ends up not being right when you actually could have avoided it in the first place. Have a read of my post – How To Spot Red Flags in Early Stages of Dating.

Definitely don’t bring your notepad and pen to a date, but definitely have a rough idea of the type of questions you should ask. Find the right points of the conversation to bring up certain topics so that it seems natural and the other person doesn’t feel like they’ve been put on the spot.

What are  your experiences of going on first dates? Do you find that asking particular questions are helpful?

HettyAsh xx

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