What Questions to Ask on a First Date

What Questions to Ask on a First Date

Hey guys,

I think this is such a controversial topic as so many people have so many different views. The notion of what type of questions, if any, should people really be asking on a first date is one that has many different views. If you ask me, I honestly don’t believe in dating someone for a period of time without actually asking that person serious questions and really getting to know him. I first published this post on Go Dates.

Up until recently, I could have been dating a guy for months and not really know him. I am happy to say that that has changed now that I spend more time trying to get to know the person instead of just having ‘fun’. If you’re anything like me, then you will want to know what type of questions you should be asking on a first date. These are in no particular order but I do feel that all of the below are very necessary topics and questions to bring up in a first date scenario.

 

Tell me about your past relationship history

It is so important to actually ask your date how many partners they have previously had and how long their relationships lasted for and why they feel it ended. At this stage you don’t need to know the ins and outs of how all his/her previous relationships went but you do need to know the basics. I hear too many people say that their past is their past and that they don’t need to talk about their past girlfriends for instance. This is completely wrong because guess what? Your past has a lot to do with who you are now. You can never really know anyone, if you don’t even know what he did a few years prior.

 

Cultural background

A lot of people think that knowing about someone’s culture is not necessary. However, they couldn’t be far from wrong. A person’s culture can give you an idea of what his parents and family may be like. It can also help you to understand his/her way of thinking and what they could expect from a relationship. In some cultures they don’t believe that women should work. Other cultures believe that you should have a child within your first year of marriage and view it as an abominable act if you choose to not have kids.

Understanding ones culture can help you to decide if the person could be right for you. After all, if you’re both sitting on the opposite side of the spectrum when it comes to culture, then initiating a relationship with this person could be a disaster waiting to happen.

 

Faith

Faith is such an important topic to bring up. Some people don’t have any faith, but other’s live by their faith, like myself. I wouldn’t date someone who didn’t have the same faith as me because that would mean that we wouldn’t see eye to eye when it comes to a lot of things. You have to ask your date if he/she has a faith and if so find out what it is so that you save yourself from a lot of trouble in the long run.

 

What are your intentions?

This is such an obvious question to ask, because lady, if you’re excited about getting married and your date isn’t even thinking about marriage then you might as well take your handbag and go home. The same goes for you gents because after all, you have to be on the same page to even consider going on a second date.

Photo credit - Charisma Jonesford

What are your goals for the future?

This has got to be one of the most broadest questions you could actually ask on a date. At this point, you shouldn’t make any suggestions but just listen to their response because that will give you an inkling into what their future plans are. If they’re saying they want to move to China and set up a school there and you’re thinking what, I don’t even want to leave the English border then you know they’re not for you.

 

How are you with your Family?

If someone tells you that they don’t have a good relationship with their parents or siblings, you should ask why. There could be a very good reason for this which consists of situations that are out of their control. If your date gives the impression that they don’t have a good relationship with their family that could be a sign that he or she won’t treat you very well either. How can someone respect you if they don’t even respect their own family?

 

What are you looking for in a relationship?

Do they want someone who is driven, ambitious and career focused or do they want someone who is laid back, chilled out and outgoing? You might meet what they’re looking for but even if you don’t at least you have saved yourself the trouble. On another note, you may find your date giving you a long and frankly impossible criteria of who they are looking for. If this is the case, it may suggest that they have too much self-love and are looking for the impossible when they themselves won’t be able to match such a criteria.

 

Tell me about yourself

This point immediately reminds me of a job interview. You’re sitting in a chair with the interviewer staring at you and he states that you should tell him a bit about who you are in the simple phrase stated above. They want to know what parts of your life and career you think are the most important. What details will you provide him with and what will you leave out. Well, it’s the same when it comes to dating. You want to know what parts of their life they think are the most important to talk about. This will definitely let you know what he/she views as treasurable to themselves.

 

Friends

What are their friends like? Do they even have friends? If they don’t is there a particular reason for this? How do they describe their friends? Are their friends in relationships or are they single? How does your date spend his/her time with his/her friends? All valid questions. It’s OK if they don’t have many or even any friends because that could just be due to a variety of factors such as work or maybe they are just more of a home-buddy. As the saying goes, ‘show me your friends and I’ll tell you who you are’. In this case, you haven’t met their friends but you can grasp an understanding of who they may be.

Dating is definitely not an interviewing process. In fact, yes it should be an enjoyable experience but you should ensure that you’re making the most of your time in this busy life. You don’t want to place all your feelings in a person who ends up not being right when you actually could have avoided it in the first place. Have a read of my post – How To Spot Red Flags in Early Stages of Dating.

Definitely don’t bring your notepad and pen to a date, but definitely have a rough idea of the type of questions you should ask. Find the right points of the conversation to bring up certain topics so that it seems natural and the other person doesn’t feel like they’ve been put on the spot.

What are  your experiences of going on first dates? Do you find that asking particular questions are helpful?

HettyAsh xx

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Creative Access, Expectation Entertainment, CreatHers

Creative Access, Expectation Entertainment, CreatHers

Hi all,

I have heard many people exclaim that they are not where they want to be and that they are certainly not working in the industry they are actually passionate about. As cliche as this may sound, nothing is impossible. If you truly have the desire to achieve something, you can. However, it takes a lot of research, perseverance and self-belief to make a dream come into fruition.

I am a freelance television production and development researcher. I am currently working at Expectation Entertainment, which is a new production company founded by a former ITV director of television and a previous president of Endemol Shine Group. In general, I conduct research and develop formats and ideas for broadcast and digital shows.

My career thus far has consisted of me working on popular factual entertainment programmes for major broadcasters including, Channel 4, ITV, BBC One and E4.

I initially heard about Creative Access via a friend who also works in television. I cannot express enough how glad I am to have been told about this charity as it really helped to further progress my career. Nonetheless, it took a lot of research, networking and hard work before I actually came into contact with such opportunities.

I have always been passionate about being the first point of call when it comes to referring people work or assisting people with potential work related opportunities – friends will vouch for that. I’m usually that person who will say things like, ‘oh I know so and so who could do that job, or oh this person is great at doing this and that’. I’m always trying to connect people.

Working in the television industry and being the person I am made me realise that I want to be able to provide other creatives with more opportunities. A friend called Shini James approached me in the beginning of the year and proposed we organise an event for female creatives and entrepreneurs. She had just launched an online platform called The SheLancers Hub to help female creatives.

She said, “I created The SheLancers Hub after noticing that the majority of the TV productions I was working on largely consisted of a male workforce. Stereotypically, women would take up secretary and coordinator roles. The notion behind this event is to break boundaries and support women who want to increase their opportunities”.

We want to bring women together in the form of vision board parties and networking events such as the one we are organising on the 23rd of April 2017 at 4pm called CreatHers: Envision My Dreams.

CreatHers as a brand will host various female creative and entrepreneurial events in the form of networking, collaborations and vision board parties. The purpose is to give female creatives and businesswomen from various industries the chance to meet and network with an array of fellow female professionals, whilst receiving advice and tips from other successful women. The notion is that by the end of the day, each attendee would have collaborated with likeminded women, thus creating their own unique one to five year vision board.

There will be an industry panel which will include Joanna Abeyie, journalist and founder of Shine Media and Hyden Talent.

One thing I will certainly be getting from the event is how I can further market and promote my blog – hettyash.com and how I can progress it to the next level. Each attendee will definitely benefit from such an event, which I’m proud to be a part of.

Tickets to the CreatHers event can be purchased via Eventbrite.

HettyAsh xx

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In The Navy – The Look

In The Navy – The Look

Hey lovelies,

It’s been a long time coming! I haven’t released a fashion based post in a while, but that’s not to say that I don’t love dressing up, looking fly and hitting the streets.

I have a massive confession to make, I don’t always ‘dress up’. In fact, there are more times where I dress down and rock the very casual look and make my way. On this note, I thought I should reflect that in today’s outfit. You can dress up and hit the road but still look and feel fabulous.

I can’t continue without saying Happy Easter Sunday. As a Christian I fully understand the importance of this time. In fact, this celebration holds a weightier value than any other, including Christmas. No, it’s not because of the bunnies and the chocolate eggs as that doesn’t actually have anything to do with the true meaning of the Passover, or otherwise known as Easter. Check out my blog on Easter.

@ry_1shot

I have to say that I absolutely love where I took this photo and the photographer @ry_1shot is a true professional. He managed to capture my outfit with a beautiful blue like scenery to compliment my theme.

@ry_1sot

I call this ‘In The Navy’. Why you ask? Well, I’m definitely all blue-ed out if you know what I mean. I’m wearing a navy coloured polyester top and a navy coloured and navy looking tailored jacket.

@ry_1shot

I came across the top and grabbed it as the texture and material is very unique. It is an everyday top that is not ‘everyday’. I say this as it’s rare that I come across a top that looks and feels like this one does.

@ry_1shot

The burgundy trousers are so smart but can also be worn in a more casual and subtle way. Girls, burgundy and navy colours match so perfectly that I feel every lady should have these colours in their wardrobe.

@ry_1shot

So there you have it ladies – my ‘In The Navy’ fashion look.

What’s your navy look?

Photographer – Ry_1shot

Top – Ax Paris (New Look)

Jacket – Next

Trousers – Next

HettyAsh xx

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What is the meaning of Easter?

What is the meaning of Easter?

I thought I’d write a short post about my thoughts on Easter and what it means. Easter is far more important than any other occasion including Christmas. As a Christian and as a follower of Christ I am forever grateful for the love Jesus had and still has for me. Jesus is God and God is Jesus, they are the same.

Jesus existed before he came as a man on earth and he exists now. He came as a man for this specific purpose – to die for our sins. As humans we are floored in so many ways, we make mistakes, we’re not always right and we do wrong against one another.

It was on a Friday at 3pm when He said “it is finished”.

‘When he had received the drink, Jesus said, “It is finished.” With that, he bowed his head and gave up his spirit” – John 19:30

“Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends” – John 15:13. Jesus didn’t have to die for us, but as He loved us he wanted to give us the opportunity of being saved and give His spirt to us to help us along our journey.

Jesus died for everyone, he allowed himself to be crucified. He resurrected after three days because death itself could not contain Him. He was and is perfect. He took our burden and our sins on that cross thus it is written;

“Christ hath redeemed us from the curse of the law, being made a curse for us: for it is written cursed is every one that hangeth on a tree” – Galatians 3:13.

Jesus was a curse on the cross. For this reason, along with the sole fact that Jesus is alive and has risen, I do not wear or condone crosses that have an image on them.

It is a very special time and a wonderful celebration. I accept this occasion, I accept Jesus’ death on earth for my sins.

What about you? What are your thoughts?

HettyAsh xx

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CreatHers Event – Guest Speakers, Early Bird Tickets and More, 23.4.17

CreatHers Event – Guest Speakers, Early Bird Tickets and More, 23.4.17

This is for the creative, professional and ambitious ladies out there!

How are you girls doing?

I have to say that I’m so excited about the CreatHers: Envision My Dreams event. It will be a three hour, power packing, fun jerking, career focused event for female creatives, entrepreneurs and business women.

It will be held at a fancy hotel in Blackfriars, London on the 23rd of April at 4pm until 7pm. Doors will open at 3pm and close at 4:45pm.

This fabulous, ambitious and exciting event is specifically for those who want to network, collaborate and envision their own ambitions and goals within their career.

The networking segment will be the perfect opportunity to build contacts and network with likeminded individuals, sharing your experiences, career journey and everything in between. There will be performances by two amazing spoken word artists known as, Stephanie Ampofo and POAMZ. There will also be a singer with an incredible voice called Diamantina.

I have frequently been asked what a vision board party is so here’s my go at explaining it as concise as possible. A vision board party is where people get together in a form of an event and create their own unique vision board to help them undertake their goals, plans and ambitions for the near future. It usually consists of magazine cut outs, pictures and sometimes specific items and materials. The purpose is to assist you in enacting your future plans in an organised, efficient and fun way.

There will be a vibrant and energetic DJ, known as DJ ST. She is the station manager at Roundhouse Radio and has previously worked for Capital Xtra and Reprezent Radio.

Of course, we had to have an industry panel sharing their nuggets of wisdom on the day. The aim is for each guest speaker to be able to provide a different outtake and perspective to a variety of creative industries.

Our guest speakers are:

Joanna Abeyie – Journalist and founder of award winning Hyden Talent and Shine Media. Joanna is a true inspiration. Have a look at her Twitter profile to find out more on the programmes and masterclasses including the BBC Journalism Workshop. I remember attending one of her ‘An Audience With’ events. It was so insightful and inspiring. I attended the ‘An Audience With Sir Trevor McDonald’. How amazing!

Vaby and Joanne – founders of Nunude, a brand that provides clothing for all skin tones.These ladies are amazing. These businesswomen saw a niche and a demand in the fashion industry that just had to be filled. Not only do they work to ensure that nude coloured clothing is nude for all shades, but they also champion diversity within their campaigns.

Jen and Jay – founders of Hustle & Heels Ladies Lunch and Hair-iD Virgin Hair Specialists. These ladies are really making waves. They host their own unique events where they bring together female professionals in a relaxed restaurant environment to have lunch whilst learning from industry leaders. They also own an online hair boutique that specialises in pure, unprocessed virgin hair extensions and installation techniques.

Jade Keshia Gordan – freelance fashion and beauty photographer and creator of JKG Photography. Jade knows how to work the camera. Her work has been featured on Thrds, Cosmopolitan and Elle. She photographs social media influencers and big names in the blogging sector. Although photography is a very competitive industry, she has been able to make a name for herself and succeed, not only as a photographer but as a freelancer also.

Each guest who purchases a general admission/early bird ticket will receive the entire benefits of the event, including a goodie bag each and the chance to participate in not one, not two but a minimum of three giveaways!

Did I mention there will be free confectionery and a bar available?

Oh, yes, you read right, there are early bird tickets on offer, but only until Wednesday the 12th of April. There are limited spaces available so ladies, grab your tickets whilst they’re still available.

Tickets can be purchased here

 

HettyAsh xx

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