Under Achievement Means Unattractive Mess

Under Achievement Means Unattractive Mess

Hey guys and dolls,

I know it’s been a while since you’ve had a post from me. I hope you all enjoy reading this, you can thank me later lol.

So what do I mean by underachievement equals unattractive mess?

Well, speaking for myself I believe attractiveness is not based solely on looks but also on the persons personality, and where the person sees themselves in the future, and what footprints they have already left behind in pursuing this goal.

I will elaborate further. To take an example, when I used to go on dates, I would normally pick a man, who’s personality and attitude complimented mine. So being the hard working person I am, I instinctively would be drawn to a man who was more ambitious, and achieving more than I was.

So there was this particular time in my life when I thought I had met the man of my dreams. In the beginning he seemed so cool, so well established and full of life. But when I started to peel back the layers of onion skin, I began to see a completely different person. They say don’t judge a book by its cover, but I would go on to say don’t judge a book by what it  exposes to you within the first few pages. You must dare to read and go further if you really want to know how the story ends.

Okay so back to this guy, his schedule would always seem so busy, and when he would explain what he did as a living, well I could hardly believe what I was hearing. I was so impressed, and I would get so excited whenever he would invite me out. But as time went by, I would notice that the majority of plans he had, had not come into fruition. I tried to ignore it at first and I would make excuses up in my mind for the reasons why his personality was changing. Also I felt a little sorry for him. Until the day came when slowly but surely he was expecting me to pay for his lifestyle. So when we went out to dinner he expected me to pay, when we went to the cinema he expected me to pay, gosh I even learnt how to drive before he did, and you guessed it, he expected me to drive him around!

So there I was thinking, how this attractive man could do a 380 degrees turn around on his personality, attitude and achievements. Was he playing a character all along? Is this his way of luring people in? Or did his life take a significant turn downhill? I truly don’t know the answers to these question, but one thing I do know is underachievement equals unattractive mess. So guys and girls understand that being attractive is not all about how good you look but also all the good things you have achieved.

xo Asiabee


Should We Try To Please Everyone?

Should We Try To Please Everyone?

Hey people!!

This is a very interesting topic. I feel like I know what most of you are thinking and are secretly (or overtly) saying which is, ‘well obviously you can’t please everyone’! Well, if that’s what you’re thinking, I completely agree with you and I am digitally shaking your hand. I’ll explain why.

It’s like a guinea pig in a wheel – you’ll just keep running and running until you get exhausted.

When I was young, I was very shy, an introvert and a massive people’s pleaser. I remember a specific moment in primary school when I used to have a pencil case containing various pens. My classmates before the class had begun, for some reason, all asked to borrow a pen from myself. I said yes to each and every single person who asked until I had none left. As I myself needed a pen to use, I asked my teacher if I could borrow one of her pens. To her dismay she told me off stating that I had given all my pens away.

I was very young and although this example is very small, if you fast forward to today, you will find many people trying to please everyone which of course is an impossible task. It’s like a guinea pig in a wheel – you’ll just keep running and running until you get exhausted.

The below quote really hits the nail on the head.

‘Woe to you when all men speak well of you’ – Luke 6:26

There is definitely something wrong if everyone is pleased and happy with you al the time. Imagine an honest and sincere person; a person who tells people when they can and can’t do something and when they do not approve of a particular thing for example. Not everyone will be happy with this person but at least they will be true to themselves and not ‘fake’ so to speak.

If you focus on being the best version of yourself and doing the right thing, you won’t feel so trapped in an endless cycle of trying to fulfil everyone’s desires of you.

You as an individual have to constantly make an informed decision as to what is the best thing to do and what is right and wrong. Some people may want you to do something that is morally wrong, so you have to be able to have the backbone to say no. Some people may even try to guilt trip you and make you feel inferior or bad for not behaving in a certain way or performing certain tasks.

It’s great to help people, to offer your services and valuable time and to be there for people but don’t forget that you’re only one person – one human being,  so don’t try to spread yourself so thinly. In doing so, you might wake up feeling completely drained and exhausted.

If you focus on being the best version of yourself and doing the right thing, you won’t feel so trapped in an endless cycle of trying to fulfil everyone’s desires of you.

So that’s what I think and I live by this.

What do you think guys?

HettyAsh xx


How To Spot Red Flags In Early Stages Of Dating Part Two

How To Spot Red Flags In Early Stages Of Dating Part Two

Hi people!

A few weeks ago I published a post on How To Spot Red Flags In Early Stages of Dating Part One. I’ve been saying this for a while now but when it comes to dating, it’s not just about having fun, laughing and just ‘living the life’, it’s much more than that. I go to numerous talks based on love life held at Love Talk Live at the Rainbow Theatre in London. These talks are also international so just look them up online. I have learnt from my own experiences and experiences of others because after all, you’re not wise if you don’t learn from your own mistakes and that of others.The below points are literally what I’ve come to realise when it comes to dating. I originally published this post on Go Dates.

Family and Friends Say Hell No

Usually, family and friends have your best interest at heart. They often see things that we don’t see because we’re too infatuated about our new Mr or Miss to realise. One thing is for certain is that if different people who don’t even know or speak to each other are saying the same thing about a person, then it must be true. Trust me, they didn’t read each others’ minds, they have just noticed a thing or two about your new guy.

This doesn’t mean that you should run away just yet, but perhaps you should definitely pay close attention to see if what people are saying is indeed true. In saying this, you should never confront the person directly. This is because, if what your loved ones are saying is true and that you should be careful, your guy will just deny it and change his tactics.

He/She Puts You Down

One of the main reasons for being in a relationship should be the notion of finding someone who can add to your life, instead of subtract from it. You want someone who will add value. Well, news flash, not everyone will add value to your life, some will just take, take and take, until there’s nothing left.

How can you spot someone who puts you down either in a manipulative or open way? Well, 9 out of 10 times your spirit should be lifted up after having a conversation with them, if it’s not, ask yourself why? Do they appear to be very negative towards you as a person, such as telling you that you don’t do anything for them even though you’re only dating and they haven’t done anything for you either? Are they the last ones to cheer you on and instead of complimenting you, do they slate you?

If you’re unsure if they’re really this person who is just there to put you down, test them. Tell them about your future goals and ambitions or even point out a physical feature you have like your nose or arms. What do they say and how do they react when you bring up such topics?


This is an interesting one because the truth is everyone will hurt and offend you, however, some are worth fighting for. To be in a relationship you need to be thick skinned. I was the person who would be like, ‘I’m not going to be with that person anymore because he did this or he said that’. I was wrong for thinking that way, because no one is perfect.

If you notice that you’re dating someone who is always offended and upset by pretty much anything, then he or she is not ready for a relationship. There are some people who love to play the blame game. Everything is everyone’s fault but theirs. If they’ve upset you, it’s your fault, if you wronged them it’s your fault, if they made a mistake it’s your fault. Do you see the pattern?

This is the perfect opportunity to test the person in question to see how they react. Confront them about something they’ve done or said that upset you and observe their behaviour and what they say.

The Lazy 

I am attracted to go-getters as in go get a job, go get some money and just go make something of yourself. We can all agree that life is hard and nothing good comes easy. Nonetheless, if you’re dating someone who appears to be stagnant in life and not really doing anything or going anywhere, that’s a big problem.

If they’re lazy about things like getting a job, then they’ll probably be lazy when it comes to things concerning you. Let’s face it, you don’t want to be the only one putting in effort when it comes to your relationship.

There are many other red flags when it comes to dating but these are definitely the most common. If you can watch out for these negative signs, you will save yourself from so much trouble and problems in the long run. A scratch can appear in a second but a scar can take a lifetime to heal.

Have you experienced any of these signs detailed above and if so what have your experiences been? I’d love to know your thoughts.

HettyAsh xx


CreatHers: Envision My Dreams Tickets

CreatHers: Envision My Dreams Tickets

Hi ladies!


I am so excited to let you all know that tickets are out now for the CreatHers: Envision My Dreams event. It will be held next month on April the 23rd at 4pm.

This event is for female professionals, entrepreneurs and businesswomen who want to network and collaborate with like-minded individuals. There will be guest speakers, freebies and giveaways.

To purchase a ticket and find out more click here


Mother’s Day Gift and Celebration Ideas

Mother’s Day Gift and Celebration Ideas

Hi lovelies!

Mother’s Day is fast approaching! I have to say that I absolutely love celebrating this event and I know my mum does as well. Her birthday is always around the same time as Mother’s Day so she is fortunate enough to have two celebrations within a short space of time each year.

If you’re like me, sometimes it can get quite difficult having to think of unique gift and celebrations ideas each year. What should I buy for my mum? Where should I take her? What should we do? It can be a bore, but on the other hand, if your mum is like me then she’s probably slightly stuck in her ways and loves a routine of traditional get togethers and gifts. Well, without further ado take a look below of my possible suggestions for a beautiful Mother’s Day celebration.

Afternoon Tea

Afternoon Tea For Two At The Luxurious Waldorf Hilton

Whisk your mum away for an afternoon tea for two at this luxurious hotel and make her feel like she’s dining with royalty – after all, isn’t she royalty anyway?

The price is only £49. There are other hotels and venues where you can take your lovely mum to.

Chocolate Dreams Afternoon Tea with Hotel Chocolat

This definitely sounds like a dream. Ever heard of the chocolate brand, Hotel Chocolat? Well it is just dreamy to say the least. The price for this afternoon tea is £40 per person with unlimited chocolate. This is located at The Den in St. Martins Lane.

Afternoon Tea at the Mews, Mayfair

Mayfair is such a lush and beautiful area that I just couldn’t believe my eyes when I saw this being marketed for £24.37 per person. That’s incredible! You will definitely feel at home with the decor and cosy sofas.

There’s a whole range of options for Afternoon Teas via this website so check them all out and have a blast.


Singapore Garden

Feast your eyes on an affordable yet luxurious restaurant that sells Singapore dishes  which is similar to chinese food. It’s a cosy restaurant with food that looks divine.

Grain Store

Just visit this website – I dare you. I love the layout and colours of the site – it looks so arty. Well, that’s not why you would visit the restaurant so let me get right to it. It’s a lovely looking and spacious restaurant which sells a variety of dishes from brown rice, to salmon, to french toast with salad and fillings. The price is very affordable, In fact, it’s so affordable I could purchase food from there for my lunch at work.

Jin Jui

If you love Korean food, or want to give it a try then perhaps you should take your mum to Jin Jui. They sell a wide range of food and I’m sure it will be well within your budget.


If you have the budget and consider yourself as an adventurer who would literally just get up one day and go to a destination just because you can then a cruise may be the way to go.

There’s various cruises that if you ask me are quite affordable if you take into consideration the places it takes you and the short space of time between booking the cruise and going on the cruise.

Royal Caribbean have cruises that pick you up from the UK and whisk you away to parts of Europe such as Spain, France and Portugal.

Cruise Deals offers you cruises that erm, well have deals so you can do a roundtrip in the UK i.e. through Southampton or go to Europe and ‘live the life’ without spending all your dough.

A European Daybreak

Have you thought about taking your beloved mum sightseeing for the day? If you have that’s very sweet of you and don’t worry there’s still time to make plans. I love lastminute.com because it really is all about making last minute plans at reasonable prices so check it out and let me know where you end up going.


OK so buying flowers for your mum is a classic Mother’s Day gift, but have you thought about ordering flowers that come with a fruitcake that delivers it straight to her home? An online website called Bunches does just this so check it out and let me know what you think. They also deliver for free, so what more could you ask.

Appleyard flowers deliver flowers straight to your door and can I just say that the flowers on the website look heavenly.


If you ask me, nothing says I appreciate you more than a beautiful piece of jewellery. By jewellery, I mean real jewellery. Here are my top five places to buy jewellery.

F Hinds


Ernest Jones


H Samuel

Personalised gifts

My go to place right now for personalised gifts (although I don’t go very often) is Not On The High Street. It lives up to it’s name as I don’t ever really find these unique products on the high street.

Cake Baking

If your mum is anything like mine then she will be a really good baker. Spend time with your mum baking delicious treats for the day so that you can scoff your mouth.

Spa Trip


Photo credit: Karl Cossio

Right now Spa Break seems like the go to place to book a lovely spa break. It has so many different locations that you don’t need to scroll Google to find a nice place to go to.

Bath Like A Queen

If your mum loves feeling like a queen in the bathroom and is all about buying bath bombs, and bath creams and lovely massage soaps then perhaps you can splurge at one of the below stores just for her.


The Body Shop


So there you have it! A nice comprehensive post filled with ideas on what to do for Mother’s Day and what to buy for your beautiful mum.

What do you think about my suggestions? Did you find them helpful? Let me know in the comments section.

HettyAsh xx